Since becoming a mom, I realized just how valuable it is for me to prioritize what I need to fill MY cup, so that I am are able to pour into my family and show up in the areas that matter most to me (my definition of self care). In my latest video “The hard Seasons of Mom Life“, I shared how this year has been one of the most difficult seasons of my life. Like for real, FOR REAL! And with that I’ve realized just how deep this practice of self care actual goes to help me in the midst of those most trying seasons of motherhood and life! If you know me you know I love my bi-weekly massages, Selfish Sundays, and alone time in the morning before my family wakes up…. but this year there have been 3 unexpected ways that I’ve been caring for myself that have helped me to remain in a place of victory during the storms of life. #3 a really did me in!
Yes, you read that correctly, Preparation has become a form of self care for me. With so many moving parts to my day, week, month… I found that preparation gives me the peace of mind that I’ve been missing, especially when all those parts are moving at the same time. One excellent example of this is clothes prep. Now I know this is not anything new, but it is for me. I am used to preparing the night before for the next day. But I really kicked things into high gear when I started to prepare for the week. It started with Dream’s outfits for the week. From her school clothes to her pjs, everything was laid out for the week. Then I added in my clothes for the week, from lounge wear to what I would wear to the gym… everything was set so I could “grab and go”!
Hubby was already taken care of. I don’t lay anything out for him, but I do ensure that his work clothes are washed, folded and ready for the week. I’m telling you… this has been a game changer. I’m not perfect by any means, and some mornings are still very much so a circus (I have a very active toddler on my hands), but this has added to my peace of mind and now I am looking at how I can add this level of preparedness to other areas of my life. How about you?
2. Spending intentional time with God, in His Word and in Worship
As a Believer (Jesus Christ Follower), I know this is something I need to do to live a life pleasing to God. but if I’m being honest, it wasn’t until I became a mom that I realized just how much my sanity depended on it. Yes… my sanity… mental health… peace of mind. I’m not talking about a quick Bible plan here and there, I mean a deep dive into the truths of His word, and discovering how it applies to my life as a wife and mom.
Most recently, Hebrews 6:10 spoke new life into me and encouraged me to the point of tears…
Being a mom is one of the absolute best things in the world… it is also the most difficult job I’ve ever been trusted with. So when I think of all of the mundane tasks throughout my day as a stay at home wife and mom, it can seem as though so much of what I do goes unnoticed.
When I saw this verse and really allowed God to open my heart to receive it… I understood that He sees it all. As I continually serve his beloved ones (my husband and children), not one thing I do goes unnoticed or without eternal reward. Add in Matthew 11:28 TPT… “Are you weary, carrying a heavy burden? Come to me. I will refresh your life, for I am your oasis”... and it’s just the reminder I need to breathe, reset, and refocus during those difficult moments.
Worship and gratitude have also proven to be excellent ways to self care. Crazy how taking my focus and attention off of myself, and instead focusing on the goodness of God, actually helps me to feel better and see more clearly. From attending church regularly, to my weekly gratitude walks, to filling my home with worship throughout the day… the impact this has on my well being and peace of mind is unmatched!
3. Letting go of things that don’t align with who GOD is calling me to be
Read that again. I’ve always prided myself in letting go of things that don’t align with the woman I wanted to be… but this year, God interrupted my entire life and help me to see that I needed to focus on become the woman HE is calling me to be. And let me tell you, the two are not the same.
The woman I wanted to be was someone who was perfect, liked, celebrated, sought after, successful, embracing all things easy and beautiful and avoiding all things challenging. Crazy that I seriously lived my life by these standards, only to realize it was leading me down a path of superficial relevance full of unrealistic expectations, misaligned relationships, and people pleasing. And quite frankly there wasn’t much peace, joy or even growth there. Just feeling of inadequacy and piles of disappointment.
The woman God is calling me to be is loved, saved by grace, significant, a woman of gratitude living for an audience of One, joy filled and victorious in the midst of life challenges, abounding in the truth of His Word, and enjoying the abundance of this thing called life as I obey and abide in Him… as a wife, mom, and woman.
Really putting God first isn’t popular or trendy. There’s no “people pleasing” or “perfection” on this road. My relationships have changed (yes, I’ve had to mourn the loss of some friendships), old habits have had to die (most of which I thought defined me… my GOD), and I’ve faced challenges that I wouldn’t want anyone else to endure! But who I am becoming as a result of my obedience, and the life God has blessed me to experience, is greater than I can ask think or even imagine! So yea. I’d call that self care!
Check out my Self Care Guide for Moms!