Let me just start by sharing that I was not the lunch packing kind of wife. I wasn’t against it, I just didn’t see the need to do it, since I knew that my husband was fully capable of doing it himself. And although Neither one of us seemingly had a “problem” with this arrangement (over the past 9+ years of marriage), the Holy Spirit got a hold of me, and led me to pack my husband’s lunch for 7 days.
The first day was fine. I had the food in the fridge, and I was up at my usual “before dawn” morning hour. My little guy slept well that night before, so I was relatively “bright-eyed-bushy-tailed” and ready for the day. Easy peasy. I even packed the brother a cupcake! lol
Then it was day two.
Listen here when I tell you! It was on that day that my FOOT ALMOST SLIPPED into disobedience… okay! I was tired, the kids seemingly needed me more than usual that morning, and I just didn’t feel like doing it. I didn’t WANT to do it. Yet and still, I clung to that inner knowing that I needed to press through and be obedient. Each day/morning had its own set of challenges, and I seriously could have come up with a number of valid reasons why I just could not commit, but I am sooooo glad I didn’t give in to those excuses.
Y’all, I wish I could say that was it… that “I’d passed the test and was able to move on”, but this thing had so LITTLE to do with packing lunches! God was using this as a way to bring to light things in me that needed to change. I know. It was a serious set up and I was so unaware until I was aware… WHEW😭
So let me tell you what really happened, and how God has been working on me 😭😭😭
1 God showed me that I needed to be more selfless, AS WELL AS more reliant on the Holy Spirit in how I show up and serve my husband. Yes I said “serve”. This furthered emphasize my startling revelation that my marriage is not ALL ABOUT ME. Y’all!! If you’re triggered by this , then keep reading.
2 God showed me that I needed to be more aware of my husband’s needs, and that it was okay to cater to them. I honestly used to feel some type of way about this, because I didn’t always know what my husband liked. And truth be told that was my excuse not to try. But the Lord dealt with me for real lol. The Holy Spirit revealed to me that “not knowing” what my husband likes/dislikes meant I had to be more diligent in learning my husband, and that “learning process” could be such a beautiful and fun experience. Isn’t it wild how you can be so stuck in your ways, that it takes the Holy Spirit to open your eyes to such a profoundly SIMPLE truth. What’s also wild is just how much we pour into our friendships, and cater to the needs of our girlfriends, instead of in our marriages. (But I’ll save that for another post).
3. God used this to remind me that my obedience directly impacts my husband. I had a revelation about this when I responded to the call of God to stay at home with my children (and now homeschool). But this time I was reminded that even the “small” things/acts of obedience can carry just as much weight! Whew! My GOD that just fired me up! You see I had no idea they type of work week my husband was going to have, but God did. And in my packing his lunch I was able to help lighten my husband’s load, in the midst of one of his busiest (and challenging) weeks.
4. Lastly, it showed my husband my heart for him, more deeply. Not to tell all our tea, but my man loves to take his own lunch, rarely will he eat out. It is important to him, and by my prioritizing what’s important to him, he was able to “feel the love” and “reciprocated” accordingly! OKAY!!!
If you’re married please hear me…
This post has so very little to do with “packing a lunch for your husband”… it has EVERYTHING to do with being obedient to the leading of the Holy Spirit in how He directs you to show up and SERVE in your marriage! Which will often require you to be intentional, selfless, and even sacrificial.
Love is more than a word… it’s ACTIVE! I know this is nothing new, but are you living an active life of LOVE in your home and marriage?
We all talk about being that Proverbs’ 31 woman, and having a good marriage, but rarely do we take the time to look in the mirror at ourselves. Often we look to our spouse to fix/change/show up differently.
Well this is your wake up call. It’s time to look in the mirror, woman of God!
Check yourself and ask yourself the following questions:
- Have I been a selfish wife, thinking that only my needs matter and need to be met/catered to? (Has Happy wife, Happy life been my mantra??)
2 Have I been supporting, serving, and loving my husband in a way that honor’s God? Or have I idolized and been embracing the standards of this world?
Proverbs 31:12 says “She does him good all his days and not evil all the days of her life” … and I’m pretty sure you can’t do him much good if you’re selfish and only consider your needs and comfort in your marriage. Actually I think that is quite evil.
Reflect and answer the following questions:
1 When was the last time you considered your husband and his needs? Let alone before your own. When was the last time you served him without seeking a response or reward.
2 Where is the Holy Spirit nudging you to show up differently in your home and marriage? And if you feel like you’ve figured it all out… I dare you to pray and ask God to show you you!
What’s happening now?
Since then, I have been flowing a bit differently in my marriage and in our home. I’m consulting the Holy Spirit for guidance and wisdom on how I show up for my husband, for my children and in my home. Like legit pausing and inviting Holy Spirit into the moment before I move. That’s a bit different for me. I mean I ALWAYS pray, but that pause before moving… it will change your life!
I’m softer in my tone, when I speak to my man. I am more aware of my words to and about him. And yes, I’m still packing the Man of God’s lunch… joyfully and creatively now! A sister is being made new…GLORY!
A Word to the Wives!
Your role as a wife is so much deeper than being “left-hand heavy”, and being able to say “I have a man”. You truly are called to be your husband’s help-meet, and for some of you… you haven’t “helped” or considered your husband’s needs in far too long. It’s been all about you, and your desires, and your needs…etc. And I’ve come to tell you under the leading of the Holy Spirit that you are OUT OF ORDER! For some of you the dysfunction you’re experiencing in your marriage is a direct result of YOUR DISOBEDIENCE, and GOD says “REPENT TODAY! Stop following the order of this world, and GET BACK TO THE TRUTH OF MY WORD. Turn away from your wicked and selfish ways, and seek MY face”. Only God can bring about the restoration you seek and you must humble yourself and get right! You’re reading this and YOU KNOW EXACTLY what you need to do! Get back into alignment with Him. Let His Holy Spirit strengthen and guide you, in Jesus name!
xx
