How to Overcome MOM GUILT When you Make a Mistake

March 16, 2023 TheresaLeave a comment

I’m writing this in REAL TIME, a littler over 24 hours since I felt the most intense and overwhelming mom guilt I’ve ever felt in my life as a mom.

I’m a Stay at home mom of two small, amazing children and God is truly showing me how to navigate this new space as a mom of two, with grace. I’m creating my flow (more on this later), and I feel like God is showing me what it means to be an overcomer as a mom! I truly want to experience the goodness of God and His joy in my motherhood. Period.

The other day, I was home having a pretty amazing day with my littles. My toddler was in a great space, the tantrums were at an all time low, and your girl actually got a little nap during the day when the baby slept.

I created a little menu so I knew exactly what to prepare for dinner, and we’ve been working with my toddler to help her follow a set routine throughout the day, and it’s been working.

It was now dinner time. Food was ready. My toddler was making her way to the table…

And that’s when it happened!

I took my eyes off my baby boy for what felt like a matter of seconds, and he had an accident. It was one of the scariest moments of my life and I still can’t get over how fast it happened.

I immediately pulled my son in close and began to plead the blood of Jesus over his life… tongues that I’ve never spoken before began to flood out of my mouth, as I prayed over his life and body!

It wasn’t long before he was resting peacefully in my arms, aware that he was safe, loved, cared for…

Then it hit me.

It was like I became aware of my part in this incident and the guilt overwhelmed me!

All of the “coulda, shoulda, wolds’ came flashing before me, and I couldn’t help but to wail because I felt like such a huge failure in that moment!

This one moment, caused me to doubt all that I had done up tot this point.

I prayed for God to help me, because I was having such a HARD TIME… and I felt led to reach out to “my people”. God knew!

They calmed me down, while letting me express myself. Prayed over me and spoke life into me, when I just couldn’t seem to speak over myself, and held me up during one of my most difficult mommy moments!

I started to feel better.

I finally called my hubby, and as soon as he declared “Our son will be well”, something leapt in my spirit. It was like his word of life was the final ingredient to help me to tap into what I needed to overcome in the moment!

as Mention played throughout the night, I just kept calling on the name of Jesus. Weeping endures for a night, oh but Joy always comes!

Fast forward to this very moment, tears of gratitude are welling up. My son IS well. As I nursed him I sang go God’s faithfulness. Considering the fall my son took, the doctor was amazed that he only sustained a tiny bruise on his lip.

Father, I PRAISE YOU!!!!

WE know GOD KEPT OUR SON! There is a promise on his life, and no weapon formed against him will prosper!

What I’m LEARNING from this:

1. We all make mistakes as moms, and making a mistake or having a bad moment doesn’t negate how amazing of a mom I am. Yes, You can be a WONDERFUL momma and still experience less than wonderful moments. But there is hope. we Have Jesus. And remember as I’ve shared before “You’re the right mom with the right kid(s)” I will never take his grace for granted.

2. No matter what we face, EVERY BURDEN, EVERY CARE and EVERY WORRY can and must be laid at feet of Jesus. And when we cast our cares onto Him, we have to learn to leave it there (I’m working on it). Tell His every detail, cry it out in His presence, and allow His power, love and sound mind (unexplainable PEACE) to overwhelm you! His peace will flush out the worry! Oh Hallelujah!

3. As God directs, rely on those trusted loved ones to hold you up, pray you and embrace you (in person) through difficult moments. The effectual fervent prayer of the RIGHTEOUS availeth much (James 5:16)! And there is so so soooo much safety in the precess of wise counsel (Proverbs 11:14)! I simply couldn’t imagine my life without these women in it. I’m so grateful…. Words cannot even describe!

4. SPEAK God’s word over your life and your family. The one thing that I was constantly reminded of is that mom guilt is not from God. Beating yourself up (aka Condemnation), is not in His will for His children. What you do is focus on the goodness, faithfulness and promises of God. He is our firm foundation. Speak life! Remember the promise of God.

5. There is joy, and that is our strength! Nothing about being a mom will EVER be perfect. And like I said before, even the best of moms have tough moments and make mistakes. It is truly a part of life, and I know that because God is with us, forgiving, keeping, refreshing, directing, loving, providing for us in the midst of it all… we can count it all joy. He is an EVER PRESENT HELP in the time of trouble! WHEW THAT HIT ME!!! Ever PRESENT!!! I am His daughter, so even when I make mistakes, and accidents happen… His promise is to NEVER LEAVE me nor FORSAKE me! And that promise extends to my children. He is perfecting that which concerns me, my family, my children and the generations to come!

God is FAITHFUL, and the more I focus on His goodness in His presence, the guilt is melting away! I wish I could say, it left instantly, but it hasn’t. Every day I have to arrest my thoughts (2 Corinthians 10:5) and replace them with the spoke truth of God’s word! Everyday, throughout the day!

As I’m growing through one of the most challenging moments of my mom life to date, I am grateful for my children and to have a GOOD GOOD FATHER, who LOVES ME and my Children. He is a KEEPER! He is intentional about the people He’s placed in my life, and I will forever see His goodness when I look at my son!

I sought the LORD [on the authority of His word], and He answered me, And delivered me from all my fears. Psalm 34:4 AMP

I will sing of the goodness and lovingkindness of the LORD forever; With my mouth I will make known Your faithfulness from generation to generation. Psalm 89:1 AMP

Momma, I encourage you to cling closer to Him in your motherhood, than ever before! Trust Him with your life, your family, and your children! God is a keeper!

HAVING A HARD TIME? LISTEN TO THIS!

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Confident Mom · encouragement · Married Life · Mommy Life · mommy support · Self Care

Having a hard time, momma? Listen to this!

March 12, 2023March 11, 2023 TheresaLeave a comment

What do you do when you’re going through a challenging season of motherhood, you speak the truth of God’s word over your life and situation… and encourage yourself!

Momma I see you, I am you and this motivation is just for you! Listen to this whenever you’re going through, and need the reminder of what God says about you and your situation.. you are more than a conqueror! Share Share SHARE with a momma who needs this!!

Scriptures Referenced:

Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is HE that is in you, than he that is in the world. 1 John 4:4 KJV

“Come to Me, all who are weary and heavily burdened [by religious rituals that provide no peace], and I will give you rest [refreshing your souls with salvation]. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me [following Me as My disciple], for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest (renewal, blessed quiet) for your souls. For My yoke is easy [to bear] and My burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30 AMP

Let us not grow weary or become discouraged in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap, if we do not give in. Galatians 6:9 AMP

The Lord will perfect that which concerns me; Your mercy and loving-kindness, O Lord, endure forever–forsake not the works of Your own hands. Psalm 138:8

The name of the LORD is a strong tower; The righteous runs to it and is safe and set on high [far above evil]. Proverbs 18:10 AMP

And we know [with great confidence] that God [who is deeply concerned about us] causes all things to work together [as a plan] for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to His plan and purpose. Romans 8:28 AMP

O Lord, you have searched me [thoroughly] and have known me. You know when I sit down and when I rise up [my entire life, everything I do];
You understand my thought from afar. You scrutinize my path and my lying down, And You are intimately acquainted with all my ways. Psalm 139:1-3 AMP

but He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you [My lovingkindness and My mercy are more than enough—always available—regardless of the situation]; for [My] power is being perfected [and is completed and shows itself most effectively] in [your] weakness.” Therefore, I will all the more gladly boast in my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ [may completely enfold me and] may dwell in me. 2 Corinthians 12:9 AMP

SHARE, SHARE, SHARE with a momma who needs this reminder! And come back and reap on this timely dose of encouragement whenever you need it!

xx,

Check out these other amazing posts!

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Confident Mom · Mommy Style · Self Care

Let’s Build | Dump the Frump Style Series Week 4

February 24, 2023February 28, 2023 Theresa3 Comments

If you’ve been following the series this month then you know we’ve done a lot over the past few weeks! As we get into our final video for the series, I want to remind you… it doesn’t have to be difficult to look and feel amazing in what you wear in the body you have now, while you work towards the body you want.

When you get clear about how you want to look and feel, and take the steps to purge what doesn’t belong, you’ll have made room to build and add items in that align with the vision you have for yourself.

And we build with two main ingredients…. basics items and coordinating pieces!

Watch week 4 to find out more!

Check out this other amazing video on the topic! 5 Essentials for Moms on the Go!

How I’m working the process in the moment!

My wardrobe word for the year is “effortless”, and anything that doesn’t align with this vision for my wardrobe doesn’t belong. PERIOD.

Check out this quick video GRWM: from in the house to running errands. Here I’m sharing how I build one of my fave looks using basic items and coordinating pieces!

First I want to say… your girl isn’t playing about keeping this simple in this postpartum season. That all black situation in the beginning of the video… I own 5 of them! 5 pairs of stretch pants, and 5 camis with the shelf bra. With

And at any giving time during the week you’ll find me in this exact look! I call these my “basic pieces”. I own the same look in grey, brown and navy blue.

I love my basics because they are flattering, make me feel amazing, and are practical for my SAHM lifestyle. I’m still nursing so easy access to feed my little guy is a must. I also have an active toddler so wearing comfortable and chic clothing in which I am able to move is nonnegotiable!

Now, when it comes to school pickup/drop off, running errands, and even meeting up with my people, I have a beautiful assortment of coordinating pieces that help me to elevate my look EFFORTLESSLY! From Dusters, Jackets, furs, down to my sneakers and boots… all of my coordinating pieces keep me snatched, while giving me the functionality that I need as a mom.

I keep the 3 Ps in mind when I think of how to add pieces into my wardrobe: Placement, Pockets, and Patterns!

Placement: Placement is everything, and will determine whether you look or feel frumpy or not. High waisted vs low rise. Fitted vs oversized. Everybody is different so you have to decide what works best for you. For me, I ensure that when layering my items during this fall/winter season, they flatter my body. I don’t want anything that makes me feel bulky or frumpy in my wardrobe. When it comes to “The placement” of the items you’re adding into your wardrobe ask yourself, “will these items flatter my body”?

Patterns, Prints, Pops of Color: As I mentioned my basic items are nuetral colors (black, grey, brown..etc), so the majority of my coordinating pieces have prints and patterns that make my look POP! Mixing patterns in to go with your basics in black, brown…etc will take your look to the next level. So as you’re building don’t be afraid to use pattern, prints and pops of color to bring your look to life!

Pockets: We all get hyped about dresses that have pockets, but I am in a season of my life where I need pockets on everything! On of the things I LOVE about my stretchy pants (that carried me through my entire pregnancy), is that they have POCKETS! As a mom pockets are a must. My pants have pockets, my jackets have functional pockets! Pockets are an essential part of #momlife!

Okay, so now it’s time for you to get to work. Like I mentioned in the video, identify your basic items and coordinating pieces and the build your looks! If you loved the looks I’ve shown, check out my Postpartum Fashion Faves here!

I would love to hear from your and feature you, right here on my blog! All your have to do is let me know how you’ve “Dumped the Frump”, and send a photo of yourself in a look you were able to create while using the steps in this month series! All entries can be sent to ceo@millennialmomchat.com by 12pm on Monday 2/27/23.

Just getting started… Follow the series here!

Intro: How to feel amazing in what you wear (after having kids)

Week 1: Get a Vision

Week 2: Time for a Wardrobe Purge

Week 3: What Lies Beneath

Week 4: Let’s Build

encouragement · Mommy Style

What Lies Beneath | Dump the Frump Style Series Week 3

February 17, 2023February 28, 2023 TheresaLeave a comment

It’s week 3 of our “Dump The Frump” mommy style series, and I’ve been having a really great time revisiting these wardrobe and style tips to help me feel and look amazing!

This week is all about “What Lies Beneath”. Let’s dive right in!

Check out this other amazing video on the topic!

What Lies Beneath : 3 Things Every woman needs in her arsenal!

How I’m working the process in the moment!

I’m about 11 weeks postpartum, and right now breastfeeding is a huge part of my life. In keeping with my “wardrobe word” for the year, I want to feel effortless, and that includes my undergarments! So I was able to get a visual, of how I wanted to feel (week I), and purge to make sure that I only held on to undergarments that fit properly (that included nursing bras to include for easy access). It was such a cathartic process, and now when I get dressed I’m starting with undergarments that not only fit well, but are practical for this season of my life. And I like the way they look! Ain’t nothing wrong with pretty bras, panties, and other important undergarments!

When was the last time you gave your undergarments a performance review? Have you given yourself permission to wear things that make you feel amazing, even while you’re working on the body you want? Or are you settling for ill-fitted undergarments, because “no-one will see them”? Let’s change this!

Often times it’s working on what people cannot see, that causes us to feel our best!

So ask yourself “What lies beneath”?

Mommas, I can’t wait to share with you next Friday for week 4 of our style series! Be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss a thing. And as always… be sure to share with a momma who needs this!

Just getting started… Follow the series here!

Intro: How to feel amazing in what you wear (after having kids)

Week 1: Get a Vision

Week 2: Time for a Wardrobe Purge

Week 3: What Lies Beneath

Week 4: Let’s Build

encouragement · Mommy Style

Time for a Wardrobe Purge | Dump the Frump Style Series Week 2

February 10, 2023February 28, 2023 Theresa1 Comment

Let the PURGE begin!

As you go through your wardrobe, set aside time to be intentional about it. Use your “wardrobe word” to guide you, and be realistic. If you’re like me and you’re being intentional about working on your body, it’s okay to set aside the items that you plan to revisit at a specified time in the future for a “wardrobe audit” (for me that’s 6 months).

Again be realistic. If you know you’re goal is a size 8 and you’re still holding onto clothes in a size 4… you know what you need to do!

If there is anything that doesn’t fit, makes your feel uncomfortable, and just not like the best version of yourself, toss it. Life is too short, and way too busy to settle for uncomfortable frumpy clothes.

LET IT GO!

We’re on a mission to look and feel amazing in the clothes that we wear while we work toward the body we want! And believe me, that will only happen if you get intentional and let go of what no longer serves you!

How I’m working the process in the moment!

Last night hubby and I had date night and I loved the outfit I was able to pull together. I already owned everything… and it felt amazing to go into my closet and pull from the things that I not only love… but they FIT RIGHT NOW!

As much as I would have loved to wear my fave pair of distressed denim, they don’t fit right now… so I had to put all of them aside for the next 6 months, and focus on the here and now.

So first I removed every single pair of jeans that didn’t fit my 10 week postpartum body and put them in a vacuum sealed bag (labeled 6 month wardrobe audit). Then of what bottoms I had left, I had to decide what to purge and what to keep. I only kept bottoms that fit now, felt good and they had to be “effortless”… meaning no struggle to get them on or off!

So here I am, wearing a pair of jeggings that

🙌🏾 Fit me now

🙌🏾 Feel great on my body

🙌🏾 And effortlessly flow with my current wardrobe

And I felt wonderful!

These will be a repeat item for sure, while I work my way back into my pre-prego wardrobe. But the key takeaway is to literally get rid of anything that no longer serves you in this season. It’s time to PURGE!

Comment below, what did you purge?

Mommas, I can’t wait to share with you next Friday for week 3 of our style series! Be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss a thing. And as always… be sure to share with a momma who needs this!