encouragement · Married Life · Mommy Life

Mommy Confidence | 3 Tips to help You Show Up More Confidently as a Mom

1. Prioritize your self care.

Actually make the time to pour in to yourself.  You “make the time” by taking a real look at your current schedules (plural because you have multiple schedules when you consider your spouse and your kids),  identifying “pockets of time” (or a moment to get away on days off, early mornings, during nap time…etc), and then scheduling the time  for yourself (actually writing it down is a game changer).    I am a firm believer in SCHEDULING  time for myself and embracing the “mini moments” to fill my cup spiritually, emotionally, physically, mentally and relationally.  Spending time with Jesus, therapy, sun filled walks, sitting in silence in the car, daily affirmation using God’s word, lunch with friends, doing whatever makes you look and feel your best (my fave)…etc. It all counts! Whether 30 minutes, or a full weekend… Prioritize pouring into yourself!

2. Identify your own specific needs.

From childcare, to home schooling… being a working mom, mompreneur, corporate mom or SAHM… to  Hiring a chef, or a house keeper, or investing in the equipment to handle it yourself… get super clear about what you need and find your OWN FLOW! All schedules, routines, systems and lifestyles ARE NOT created equal. One size DOES NOT fit all. So you must get super clear about what you need. When you’re doing what’s best for you and your family, and let go of the need for approval from others… chiiii…. that’s freedom!

3. Ask for and accept support!

The more I do this work the more I realize that most moms feels overwhelmed and lack confidence as moms because they are trying to do it all by themselves. And sadly so many moms say that even with their best efforts, they feel like they’re falling short. Momma, let me free you with this NEWSFLASH… there’s no special reward or extra stimulus check coming because you’re trying to DO IT ALL BY YOURSELF!  Running yourself into the ground, is played out.  Believe me I speak from experience… Ask for support, accept it and allow those trusted loved ones (family, friends and YOUR HUSBAND) to pour into your life!

When you prioritize yourself as a mom, you show up more confidently, present and grounded as a mom, in your marriage, in your home and career! All the areas that matter most to you are impacted by how you care for yourself. So, take care… and prioritize yourself!

 

 

 

 

I want to hear from you!  Whether a working momma, mompreneur… How are you prioritizing yourself?  What do you do to help you show up confidently as a mom!? Share with me on social media…@Reese__Dennis

 

Click here to learn all about it!

 

 

encouragement · Mommy Life

The “Grace Plan” | What to do when you’re having a “mommy moment”😭

Listen, I know we love our children and we’re grateful for the opportunity to raise these amazing tiny humans… we all know mom life has its challenges. However, that doesn’t mean we have to sit in those moments. Nor does having a “bad moment” make you a bad mom! (Read that again)

So, let’s shift that internal narrative!

Are you with me? Okay, keep reading… this is good!

As we shift, I encourage you to create what I’m calling a “Grace Plan”. “What is that”, you ask? Simply put,  a “grace plan”  is a list of things to do when you need to give yourself grace! We often talk about “giving ourselves grace”, and  I decided to make it a little more practical for my life. 

Today, I’m sharing my “Grace Plan” with you. These are the 5 things that help me whenever I’m having one of those moments…. or days! It makes a world of difference when you don’t have to think on your feet,  because you have a preset plan of what to do. So I hope it will inspire you to create your own!  Remember, there is no right or wrong. This list is specific to your needs, and will totally vary depending on the season of your life, and age of your kiddos 😭😭😭. So apply what you love, leave what don’t, and create a plan that works for you! Let’s go!

1. Breathe Chi!

Literally stop, take a deep breath. Close out the apps, turn off the TV, or step into another space for a hot second. (I’ve done this several times in my pantry 😭😭😭). Close your eyes if you can, and BREATHE chi…. inhale and exhale!!! Such a simple practice,  but it’s such an amazing and powerful way to settle yourself in the moment.

2. Encourage yourself!

Once you’ve settled yourself, encourage yourself. Create some quick in the moment comebacks to speak over your life. Protip: prerecord yourself saying these in a voice memo so you can easily play them when you need to! A few things I say that are on my list:

“I am capable”
“I can do all things through Christ”
“It’s okay to stop and try again later”
“This moment is temporary”
“I’m having a moment, but I’m a great mom”
“LAWD, help me on TODAY”

That last one though 😭🙌🏾 I feel like I call on God all day. And you know what’s so bomb about that… He doesn’t mind. He actually wants us to rely on Him, and if I’m being honest He comes through for me every single time… even if it’s not the way I expected!

3. Create a playlist

When you don’t have the capacity to speak, it’s a great idea to have someone else help you with the “heavy lifting”. Better to have someone else speak life over you, than for you to allow those negative narratives to run wild internally! We’re done with that, remember?  I have a whole  playlist of worship songs to remind me of who I am and whose I am! It may take a few songs to get me together, but it works EVERY SINGLE TIME!

4. Change of scenery.

Strap the baby in the back and Go! Get out for a quick walk, a drive, walk the mailbox, sit on the deck… just get outside and change up the scenery. If your kids are older, go by yourself. Take some intentional deep breaths, and release the tension in your shoulders.  Idk what it is but the greenery and fresh air seem to  revive my soul and energize me to carry on!

5. Lean in to the moment.

Sometimes, those “mommy moments” require that we remain physically present,  meaning we can’t just shut things down and walk away.  In that case lean in and figure out what it is that you need to do for your little one in the moment. This may require that you reschedule a meeting, push back a play date, or delay your social post. It may require that you gracefully decline that clubhouse invite, or that phone call. And guess what? That is okay! Give yourself permission to lean in to those mommy moments when you need to, and give your littles what they need!  And as you lean in, observe, learn, be present… sometime you’ll find exactly what YOU need when you lean into those moments for your little ones!

Bonus Phone a friend!

There is so much power in community.! Having people you can call on not only to vent, but who will also build you back up, pray, laugh,  come over to help out, or send food when needed… is EVERYTHING! Having  people who are literally ready to do whatever you need to help you  so that you’re able to keep going… yea… we all need those people in our lives!

Momma, was this helpful? What will you add to you “Grace Plan”! Cant wait to hear what you come up with! Be sure to like and share with a friend in need!

XX

Mommy Life

Feeling overwhelmed at home all day with your toddler? Here are 7 things that will help you!

 

1. Start the day before your toddler wakes up.

As much as I enjoy “sleeping in” I know that I have to wake up first. My day is so much better when I do, even if it’s just for 15 mins to gather myself as I prepare for my day.  And I’m not always up “doing” something. Most mornings I’m up praying and just enjoying the moments of stillness before the crazy starts… it can get very “Wild Wild West-ish” over here real fast and those moments help me to “be ye ready” lol.

2. Create a mommy schedule. 

Having a mommy schedule has transformed my life! I’ve talked a great deal about my mom schedule (click here for the deets) and this has given my day  a sense of Rhythm. From when we wake up to when we go to sleep, for the past year I’ve been following a schedule with a set of routines that have helped me tremendously.  Trust me, knowing what comes next, creates flow… and you’ll find that you have more time now that you’ve been intentional about what you do with it!

3. Have a routine for those every day activities.

So let’s break this down real quick… Your schedule helps guide you to know what to do, the routine is how you do it. For example, I know that every night Dream needs to sleep, so we created a bed time  routine. Our routine is super simple… bath, moisturize hair, brush teeth, cuddles, turn on bed time music and we end in our rocking  chair til sis is knocked out. The routine doesn’t have to be extensive, it just needs to work for you and your family!

4. Get outside. 

I didn’t realize how much I came to rely on going out for my long 3 miles walks with Dream until this winter. It was rough. I was so used to being outside for the fresh air and the workout, and I not being able to get outside due to the weather… I didn’t  like it. Add that on top of the already restrictive access to so many places because of the pandemic… it was a lot. I knew that I needed to do something for my sanity! So I decided to do mommy and me drives. Most often I would set out to take a drive when I knew I had a  mobile pickup at Target or Wegmans! It was mostly for me, and it helped every time we took off! And on the days when I couldn’t go out for a full walk or drive, I’d often step outside for a few deep breaths. Everyday I make it a point to get outside…even if just for a few moments.  And now that the weather is warmer, and Dream is older we go out twice a day! Our community has a playground so in the mornings we walk for mommy, and after nap time we get outside for playtime!

5. Screen free activities!

Now don’t get me wrong we watch circle time and other educational shows… some days more than others because mommy needs her time… but admittedly I find that my day with Dream is so much better when I intentionally engage her with non-screen activities. So I went to Pinterest and found some pretty dope toddler activities!  We color, we read, we play games to review letters, numbers, shapes and colors, we play with building blocks, we dance, we sing… and so much more. Having a catalog  of activities to use throughout the day has been so good for us and the flow of our day! 

6 Reset the room.

Being home with a toddler can get messy! I remember one day it looked like a tornado flew through my house. Stuff was everywhere. And I said “well I have a toddler, so it just is what it is”. But I realized I was feeling this tightness in my chest every time I walked into those spaces… well because it was a mess!  That’s when it hit me,  this messy mom life ain’t for me if I can help it!  I want my house to be in order, as much as possible,  and I’ve been “resetting the room” ever since. Basically all you’re doing is cleaning as you go or putting things back in place once you’re done in that particular space in your home. It started with me cleaning and putting toys away, and now that Dream is older she’s been helping me out! I also have learned to layer my tasks… so while Dream is eating lunch I’ll reset the kitchen… or if we’re in her room, I’ll put things back in her closet… etc. You get the point. 

7. Make time for yourself EVERYDAY!

Finding a few moments just for me…everyday… has become nonnegotiable, and it is always what I need, when I need it! Making time for yourself doesn’t have to be anything major, You don’t even have to “do” anything… it may just be a moment to reflect, to sit, to rest. 

For me I’ve recently decided that at least 1 time every week I’m going to nap when Dream naps… and on the nights when hubby is on bed time duty I’ve scheduled “Reese time”. Yes, on my calendar! This week I’m giving myself a pedicure and I have my fave show to catch up on. Everyday in this season Dream takes a nap, so for  at least 15 mins of her nap hour I try to just reset, practice gratitude, stare at a wall, stare out the window… just intentional stillness.

Making time for yourself is a deeply personal and requires that yo be intentional Do whatever works for you but find a way to do it daily! 

xx

 

 

 

 

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