The Blessing of Obedience in Marriage | Not what you’d expect!

About this weekend! Y’all see us? Yaasssss!!! My husband and I look so good together ❤️❤️

My husband was inducted into the “President”s Club” at his job for being a top performer yet again this year! Glory!  Y’all know how I feel about this man and  I am so incredibly proud of him! I had such an amazing time being on his arm! I was giving “proud wife” all weekend! lol Yaassss!!!

We are not strangers to God’s hand of favor. God’s provision has been on “abundance”, as he has truly blessed our family and the works of my husband’s hands. Listen, that man does not play about me, our kids or his role as provider.   There is a weight, and he knows he must honor God as he seeks to provide for and lead our family.

I have also become aware of my role in our success. When you’re married there is no “I” in team. You two are one.

So today, I want to share  4 specific truths I’ve learned over the past several years about obedience. Obedience in marriage, and in particular, obedience in my role as a wife. I recently shared in a FB post that obedience is God’s love language. And throughout scripture we see that there are blessings attached to our obedience. So as Joshua declared “As for me and my house, we will SERVE (obey) THE LORD”!

Okay, let’s get into it. Here are 4 ways to obey and honor God in your marriage as a wife!

1 Prioritize Your Role in Your Home

Years ago God called me to “pour solely into my family”. That meant I needed to step away from the other things I was “pouring” into, and that was not easy for me.  In my Stay at Home Mom Guide I share more about this, but your girl was caught up. Caught up trying to keep up appearances at the expense of time with my husband and little one at the time.  So under the direction of the Holy Spirit I needed to let all of that go, and focus on my family… which is my first ministry. I didn’t understand it then, and I don’t understand all of it now, but I know my being home has had a direct impact on my husband’s success. Time and time again, he reminds me of just how much peace it brings him knowing I’m here with our children, and how amazing it feels to walk into a home filled with love, excitement and the presence of God! And it’s no coincidence that since being home, we’ve experience exponential success both spiritually and financially. My husband has literally experienced favor in his job like NEVER before, and has been #1 multiple years in a row since. God is so good! And let me tell you, obedience is always the way.

Now I know not every mom is called to stay at home with their kids, but every mom IS called to prioritize her family, and her role in the home. Read Provers 31 and Titus 2. Prioritizing our God-given role is not an option, it is required. That’s bible, and that’s where our obedience comes into play. If you’re experiencing external success (job, church, ministry, social media…etc), but your family, marriage and home are in shambles… you are out of order and you need to repent.  This does not mean you need to quit your job, but it does mean you need to get your priorities in order. Ask God how to get back into alignment with his divine order. Family first is a real thing.

2 Become One in Every Area

To be honest, when I got married the concept of “us” and “ours” wasn’t as easy for me to embrace… especially with finances. It was always “my money” and “his money”. And “these are my bills” and those are “his bills”. Your girl even had a separate bank account at a different financial institution for years, and I thought this was normal.  Well that all came to a halt 5 years ago, when my husband made it EXPLICITLY CLEAR… that what I was calling “mine” and “his” was in fact “ours”.  He went on to say  that just because I was at home, and not making a monetary income for our home, didn’t negate the fact that we are ONE in every area including our financial blessings and challenges. Whew… real tears!

God has been doing a work on me for real. I really had to pray and allow God to renew my mind around what it means to be “one” in our finances. I’ve changed and have grown so much since that moment. I have no issue with celebrating my husband as our “bread winner”. There is no more “mine” vs “his”. It is ours, and I’ve got to say… I love it here! It was a complete and necessary shift for me!

This is our home. These are our children. These are our blessings and challenges. This is our marriage! Hallelujah!

Okay so listen… How you manage your finances and home is between you, your husband and the GOOD Lord. SO please understand, I’m not trying to tell anyone what to do with your money. That’s God’s job.  What I will say is that if the concept of “us” and “ours” are foreign to you, and you’re using “mine” and “his” to reference those important areas in your marriage… then you need to seek God. Ask Him, “what does it look like for my husband and I to become one in every area”?  And when He shows you, trust and obey.

Now, If you know you’re out of order and you are having a hard time respecting* your husband, SEEK GOD! Get off the phone with your unmarried friends, and get on your face. Humble yourself before God and repent, because if you’re not honoring your husband, you are out of order and God is not please. I’m telling you, we don’t submit to our husbands because they are perfect, or because they ‘deserve it”. No, sis. That’s what the world wants us to believe. We submit as unto the Lord. Furthermore, I am a living witness of just how God can move in your marriage when you honor His Word, shut your mouth about a thing (HAAAALLPPPP lol), and allow Him to work on your husband. (Lawd, I didn’t mean to go there but here we are).

 

3 Honor Rest as God Honors Rest

Okay, before we begin let me address this… rest and sleep are not the same. Can you sleep as a form of rest? Yes, but the two are not synonymous.  I say this because I’m talking to moms of young children.  And we know sleep is not as common as we’d like… (Father let  a holy and oh so sweet slumber fall heavy  on our children lol). While we wait for that, we can create space to rest.

Throughout scripture we see just how much God honors rest (Genesis 2:2, Hebrews 4:10).  Rest* is to cease work or movement in order to relax, refresh oneself or recover strength. In biblical terms it is a place of peaceful refreshment, often found in the presence of God.

Rest will look different for each family, but no matter what it looks like it is a vital part of a healthy marriage. I also believe when we create space to rest (As God did… hello?!), it invites God to show up in that “nobody but God” type of way in our lives!

My husband and I know first hand just how blessed life is when we honor rest. As you all know I am a SAHM/Homemaker and my honey works outside of the home (praise break because I’m grateful lol).  His job can be extremely demanding at times. So we both have to be intentional to ensure he honors his days off, his holidays, vacations…etc (yes sis, I help him remember, and make sure the man of God takes his time). I know it is no coincidence that my husband has consistently had his best months at work, each time he’s taken a vacation. Like I said, rest invites that “nobody but God” type of blessing into our lives! Because how do you take 10 days off and come out as #1? God did that!

For my SAHMs…

Life can get extremely busy with all the activities for the kids, church, errands, social gatherings with loved ones, birthday parties, recitals…etc. It’s important to take time to slow down, refresh and rest. And sometimes the only way to rest, is to make the space on our schedules to do so.

This could be taking a day to just relax with the kids.  Enjoy a peaceful day at home, or out in nature.  Turn on worship music and invite the presence of God into your home, while your children play.  No appts, no errands, no playdates or social gatherings.  Create space for peaceful refreshment. Keep it simple, and do what you can to give yourself, your body and your family time to rest and refresh.  As stay at home moms, we have so much more freedom in how we utilize our time. Don’t get caught up trying to prove yourself, overwhelming your life (and kids) with  a “busy-always-on-the-go” schedule.   Let me release you today... you don’t have to accept every invitation. You don’t have to show up at all the places.  Leave margin for rest. Create space to refresh. And if you don’t know how to do that, seek your Heavenly Father. And when He shows you what to do, or what to remove from your schedules to create space for rest… Trust & OBEY!

4 Make God’s Word the Standard of Your Life

I feel like I sound a like a broken record, but we must be careful not to  build our marriages on the standards of this world.   Things can seem pretty confusing if you’re not in your Word.  Many of those who’ve been called to sound the alarm for the Kingdom, are so heavily influenced by the culture,  that it’s becoming more difficult to tell the difference. We laugh and mock our spouses online, and think it’s okay because our reels and TikTok’s have gone viral. Our kids are being embarrassed online without their knowledge, all for a like and a chuckle. And My God! Our marriages and families are under attack under the disguise of relatability and humor and we don’t even know it. HELP US FATHER!

We need to build our marriages, our families, our lives on the Solid Rock of Jesus Christ and the infallible Word of God!  We must step away from following the trends, and take the time to really get to Know Jesus, and establish a firm foundation on His Word.

I’m a witness of just how blinded we can get if we don’t seek Him first. A little while back, I had to delete a reel because it was not honoring to my husband.  Was it funny? Yup! It was trending and relatable.  There were so many comments that said “my husband does this too”. But God said, “I am not pleased. Take it down”. And so I obeyed.

Following God and His Word may be counter-cultural, but it will always lead you to life! Where the world says “submission is not for the modern day woman”, God says it is a requirement in marriage… and it’s a wife’s covering. While the world glorifies “team no sleep”, God calls us to and honors our rest. While the world mocks marriage and portrays it as just a piece of paper, God calls it a HOLY UNION and a representation of His covenant with the church through Jesus Christ! I could go on and on.

Please don’t miss the point. This is not to say that social media is all bad, and that you can’t share, post or laugh at things. Chi please. God has the greatest sense of humor, and I believe laughter is oh so good for the soul.  The point is, we must be careful not to allow anything to take the place of God’s truth in framing or guiding our lives.  His Word must be our standard. Period.

A final word to some…

What we do as wives and mothers has a direct, and sometimes generational, impact on our families. Don’t ever think that your obedience is in vain. God has a plan and a purpose for it all. Right now some of you have been struggling with the call to stay at home with your children. Yes. You feel God calling you to leave your job and pour into your family and home. You can feel this unshakable tug on your heart, but you’ve allowed the fear of “what if” to cripple you.  You’re struggling to trust your husband and God to provide. You’ve allowed your past, society, and even your family to convince you that staying home is a “waste of your talent” or that “you have to contribute to your home to be valuable”. LIES! I’m a witness of the exponential blessing that God has for those of us who trust & obey Him! So if you feel the call, obey. God’s got it all figured out, and you’re holding up the process. Pray and surrender to Him, sis. This does not mean life will be perfect. You will have a number of growth seasons ahead.  But count it all joy, because your obedience will release an overflow of favor, anointing and blessings in your marriage and home like never before. So trust Him today. Obey!

 

Enjoy our full recap from the weekend ❤️

 

xx

 

 

 

 

 

Grab my Stay at Home Mom Guide here! But I must tell you…

If you’re looking for a guide, that’s going to show you how to meal plan and how to color coordinate your schedule for your children during the day, this is not the guide for you. However, if you desire to thrive in motherhood, become the woman God called you to be, all while creating and living a life filled with the joy and peace God promised, I’ve got you covered! Click below for more!