Confident Mom · encouragement · Married Life · Married Moms · Mommy Life · Work Life Balance · Working Moms

Pressed | A Lesson from (to) the Overachieving Mom

A few weeks ago a Facebook memory popped up from my stories that made me cringe a bit. 

For reference… it was a 6 part story thread posted 2 years ago. I was going on about my goals as a “mompreneur” and I remember just how pressed I was to prove I still had it all together since becoming a mom. Now, don’t get me wrong, I did have some “mom things” figured out, but what I remember  most is how I felt this immense pressure to perform and show up in this self proclaimed “mompreneur” role,  and over time it became an exhausting expectation I placed on myself… show up for the people. Whew.

Now let me tell you a little bit about what was going on at that time. Just a few weeks prior to that 6 part story thread, God made it explicitly clear that I was to step away from my then Hair Slayed By Reese styling business, and  I  just felt like I had to immediately step into “doing” something else. Something  that I could call “purposeful”. I was determined to keep up appearances. As much as I claimed to be walking in my purpose, the truth is I was more concerned with looking the part, as oppose to actually aligning my life with who God was calling me to be.

A year of that went on! Yes a year of pressure, people pleasing and trying to prove myself! A year of following all the gurus’ advice, trying to launch and pitch and position myself as an expert because I desperately wanted to be seen as important and successful… and it was exhausting! 

Fast forward to today, and guess where God has me? Guess where I found my freedom from all the pressure, and my purpose in this season? I’ll give you a hint… it has nothing to do with trying to prove how successful I am. 

I’m a full blown Stay at Home Mom and Wife and I’m embracing that as where God desires for me to be in this season.  Prioritizing God above all things and pouring from my overflow into my family. God showed me that this is my first ministry, and that the road I was on previously wasn’t leading me to a place that He desired for me. 

Since embracing this space and season (which let me tell you has not been easy), I found myself more present with my daughter, husband and myself. I’m more prayerful about the things concerning our lives individually and as a family! I’m more aware of what’s taking place with my husband and how to be his helpmate. And the time freedom is beautiful! 

Scripture has become more alive to me than ever before. Like verses I’ve known and memorized, have breathed new life into this season of my journey. I’m also more present and aware of who I am in Christ (especially without all of the titles, praise and need for validation).  This is particularly important since I used to be so afraid, embarrassed almost, when people used to ask me “what do you do”.   I’ve even experienced a bit of “shaming” and side eyes from other moms when I shared that I’m a stay at home mom and wife (more on this another time because it’s deep and needs to be addressed).

Now I know this is a special place, and a privilege. I remember praying for this life, and now I see it for the blessing that it is (even with all of the challenges). I am the CEO of my home, and I’m learning to love it here. And anywhere that God places you is always blessed!

It’s all about God and His timing, and actively flourishing where I’m planted until it’s time for the next thing!

I know this is not everyone’s story. I’m connected to more working moms and mommypreneurs than I can count. But I must tell you that no matter what  “work” you find yourself doing,  the only work that will bring about an everlasting reward is the work we do for God. And you’re  a wife and a mom… that always involves putting Him first in all that we do,  and tending to our first ministry. Our homes.

Being pressed to show up (show off), and perform is not it. Hustling and overwhelming yourself  to create a booming business, while your home is in flames is not a part of His plan for your life. Of course, this doesn’t mean don’t build your empire or work outside the home. Nonsense!  Listen God has already given me a vision of some of the things I will do in the marketplace, and I’m excited when the time comes. 

This is all about obedience.

This is all about prioritizing our lives in such a way to ensure that we are aligned with who God is calling us to be in every season! Even when others don’t get it, or think we can “do more” because they see us as “gifted” and “called”. We have nothing to prove, when it comes to obeying Him. 

We all need to do a heart check, and often. The way society is set up, it is so EASY to spiral down the wrong path. I encourage each of us to pray and ask our Father “is the work I am doing aligned with Your will for my life?  Am I living for an audience of One? Or am I pressed? Purely responding to the pressure to perform and please others?” And if you find that anything is out of order, ask Him to open your eyes to see so that the necessary changes can be made in my life, today in Jesus’ name!

Obedience and aligning our lives with Him, in EVERY SEASON, will always be the way!

 

xx,

 

 

 

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Married Life · Married Moms

Let God Handle It!

Okay, so listen… I don’t often share such fresh lessons. I usually like to let things marinate for a bit. But I just couldn’t move on until I posted this (couldn’t even sleep). Many times when we pray for God to change our loved ones (especially our husbands), and pray with a sincere and open heart before God, He will often reveal what needs to change in us. WHEW… SOBERING!

A word of advice… just let God begin that good work in **you**!   Be Encouraged, and if God tells you to “Let it go“, be obedient… and let HIM handle whatever “it” is!

 

Love what you’re seeing… be sure to subscribe and most importantly SHARE with a momma who needs this reminder!

 

🔥🔥Check out these other great posts🔥🔥

‼️ Momma, Do you Have the Capacity? :

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‼️ Every Momma needs a “D-Day”

✨ Connect with me on IG: @theresa_ _dennis

encouragement

The Baby & The Business | 3 Ways to Create Harmony as a Mommypreneur

I recently shared a post reflecting on how things have totally changed over the past 365 days (read that here). I went from being a solo-preneur standing smack dab in the middle of purpose… to birthing a mini boss, and instantly becoming a mommypreneur. LAWD! Talk about TRANSITION. So, Today I’m taking it a bit further and sharing 3 ways I’ve been able to find harmony in my life! Whether you’re a mom of 1 or a mom of 5… a new mom or have been a mom for some time… this post is just for you! Especially if you are navigating that space of building an empire! Read with an open heart and  Be encouraged!

 

1. First things first.

I’m not sure how you prioritize your life, but this year I’ve been extremely intentional about mine:

1. God

2. Family/home (Dream and Keem)

3. Business

With my priorities in check, I’m able to better manage how I make business decisions. If a business decisions or commitment doesn’t align with what God has spoken over my life, or pulls me away from my family… it makes it easy to say “not this time”. I think may of us as moms don’t have our priorities straight. We say, “Family first”, but our decisions say the EXACT opposite. The first step to finding and maintaining harmony in your life as a mom on a mission is to keep your commitments in alignment with your priorities and values! Ask:

-What’s most important to you?

-How can you better prioritize your life, keeping first things first?

“Harmony is achieved only after you’ve identified what’s most important and prioritize accordingly”.

 

2. Pray & plan ahead. Pivot as needed!

There are certain things that I know I want to complete weekly and if I don’t plan for them, like literally write them down in my planner AND on the calendar, I know I will miss it.

Whether it’s setting aside time to write an article, recording a new video series, hit the grocery store, pump (yes I’m still nursing), coordinate visits/play dates, update my website, do the laundry, correspond/meet with clients, ETC… it takes some SERIOUS and Intentional planning. And how I plan lines up with what I’ve prioritized! Yes, there are days when I just go with the flow, because that’s the only way to survive the day (😩😭😂), but I have a general plan for my week, in writing, to keep me on target!

 I’m all about FLOW! And no, this isn’t a perfect situation. There have been times where I’ve planned things out to a T, and Dream just wasn’t on board. Take this post for example. I planned and set aside time to write, during Dream’s nap time. However, my teething 8-month old needed her mommy (poor thing)! And so here I am, typing while nursing! Anyone with kids will tell you, no two days are alike. So pray, plan and pivot as needed!

What are your weekly non-negotiables?

How can you plan ahead to account for those moments when your baby/babies aren’t in agreement?

“Planning ahead and taking action is a success strategy. Prayer and staying connected to THE Source is key”! 

 

3. Check in, OFTEN!

Whether it’s communicating with your spouse, or checking in with yourself and reflecting on what is working… check in often! Celebrate your wins (no matter how small), and adjust as needed. For me I seriously had MORE time to work in my business when Dream was a little younger. I could put her in her bouncers/swing for self play and use those moments to get things done. But now… NOW that this little yummy nugget is mobile, and I barely have the time to even respond to an email. Why? Because I have to keep my eyes on her at ALL times 😭😭😭. With that, I had to do three things:

1. Check in with myself to determine what I needed to flourish in this season. I had to reassess my commitments how I plan to  keep them.

2. Adjust my daily “routine” while I’m home alone with Dream to be in alignment with my current reality. She is sleeping much less during the day, so my availability and “free time” is no longer the same. I have to adjust accordingly.

3. Communicate with my hubby to figure out our schedules, to see how I could add in some productive/work time while he’s home. I also had to cut bak in other areas

Once I made the shift, harmony was not that far behind. I went from being overwhelmed and frustrated, feeling like I couldn’t get ANYTHING done… to discovering creative ways to pursue purpose! God is bomb like that. As you acknowledge HIM… He directs you’re every move! His is the MASTER CREATOR, and there is no part of your life that He can’t remedy! 

-How have things changed for you over the past few months?

-How can you adjust to reignite the harmony in your life?

As things change around you, YOU MUST ADJUST. Check in often, acknowledge the change, seek God for wisdom and PIVOT! 

 

Bonus: GET DRESSED!

I shower and get dressed every day. I have things in my wardrobe that are easy to throw on but are well coordinated to make me feel like somebody! Okay! I cannot stress the importance of showing up for yourself in this way. For me it’s an instant mood boost. Walking around in my robe all day vs. walking around in a jogger set or a cute pullover and some leggings. It makes a difference. Especially when I’m able to sit and work. I’m in a mental space to produce when I’m dressed.

-How can you show up for yourself with what you wear?

-What wardrobe adjustments can you make today?

“What you wear and how you show up for work is important… especially when you work for yourself”

Reese

encouragement

Week 5 | Fierce 5💍 Marriage Series | Lady Shante Baldwin

fierce 5 lady baldwin

 

It’s week 5 of the Fierce 5💍 Marriage Series, and we’re ending the series with another BOMB feature!! Yaaaasssss! The super fly Lady Shante Baldwin, is dropping gems! Married for 14 years, check out what she has to say about respecting differences, affirming your spouse’s leadership, and how to embrace the “waiting room”.


1. How many years have you been married,

and what has being married for xx years taught you?

 

I have been married for 14 years,  going on 15 in August. As I reflect on the last 14, one of the things it has taught me was to respect our differences. See we are different in many ways, He is an extrovert and I am an introvert. He’s out going and I’m laid back. Over the years I had to learn that our personalities are not the same. We were different in the way we walked, the way we talked, the way we moved etc. This brought on lots of disagreements. I like purple I like blue, it doesn’t take all that, it does take all that lol. Then finally it was an “aha” moment in my marriage where I recognized, I had to master my husband’s personality to understand why he does what he does, and thinks the way he thinks. I was stretched beyond my understanding. During the process, there were many ups and downs, heated fellowships and challenging moments, but love would win every time. Knowing your spouse’s personality is key.  This will bring peace within the marriage and help you to understand your spouse more and more.

2. You are definitely a “woman of purpose” how have you navigated that space of being a help-mate for your husband, and a woman with a purpose/platform/ministry? What challenges have you had to overcome and how?

Navigating through being a helpmate to my Husband and a woman of purpose was challenging at times. At one point, I was working full time, taking care of the household, we had three children and the ministry.  You can imagine lol. I was meeting with women in the ministry, preparing for women fellowships, and so much more. It became challenging and the load was heavy. I was confronted with needing to create balance that would not disrupt my home. I prayed and sought the Lord for wisdom. I knew that I was to be that proverbs 31 women.  Having a true man of God makes all the difference, because we both knew we were called to be a Man and a Women of purpose, we had to come up with something that worked for us. We worked together, shared the tasks at hand, and split the responsibilities. We overcame by understanding each other’s unique identity, talents, calling etc. One of the things that my husband and myself would always say we were “married on purpose”.

3. What word of advice/wisdom do you have for the young wife who is struggling with “submission”?
.

The bible tells us to submit to our husbands as unto the Lord. Submission does not mean that a wife is inferior, less intelligent or less competent than her husband. It doesn’t mean that you don’t have a voice or that he is controlling, it’s about trusting your husband to lead the family and aligning your heart with the vision of the marriage. It gives the wife the opportunity to affirm his leadership. As a new wife, you must allow your husband to lead in a way that he submits to the Lord, and you submit to him. It’s nothing wrong with you giving input, asking questions and helping. Submit in a way that he knows that you are his biggest cheerleader and got his back.

4. What about the singles who want to be married, and feel like they’ve been waiting FOREVER? What does it truly mean to “wait on God” as a single woman waiting to be found? Is it just a cliche?

What a great question. Waiting on God is not a cliché at all. I waited!  Ladies be encouraged in the waiting room. It does not mean you sit around and wait for your mate. Waiting on the Lord truly means that you embrace this moment. Use this time to become:

A lady of reckless abandon, unlocking the treasures that are inside of you.

A lady of diligence being diligent with your relationship with the Lord.

A lady of virtue sharing high moral standards, not compromising in any way shape or form, but working on yourself.

Become a woman that is whole and let Him find you serving the Lord, emotionally healthy, and Spiritually sound. When he shows up, you will be ready, set and sound to receive who God has for you.

5. Anything else/advice/wisdom you feel led to share?

Ladies remember that there is not another you! Whatever your position is, whether you are married or single, show up well and Maximize Destiny Now!!!

Lady Shante Baldwin

 

Yasssss to all of the above! Love what you’re reading! Be sure to comment below and let us know your thoughts! We’re going LIVE for another Fierce 5 chat and changing this up a bit! So be sure to connect with me on Facebook so you don’t miss out!

And be sure to connect with me on Instagram, @reese__dennis, for a more wisdom  from the Fierce 5💍 ! Can’t wait to hear from you!

Reese

encouragement

Replay | Fierce 5 💍 LIVE CHAT w/ Tia Glenn

Hey ladies! In case you missed this week’s Fierce 5 Live Chat with Tia Glenn, the replay is posted below! We did things a little different this time around and went live on FB! 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾 Having just a few technical difficulties getting the actual video posted… So click the link below to view the full replay! Get your entire life🔥🔥🔥! Be sure to like, comment, and share! Super excited for this week’s feature! 

Click here to view live Chat!

Love what you’re seeing?  Don’t want to miss any other posts or videos? Well, be sure to LIKE, COMMENT, SHARE and SUBSCRIBE! Join in for more empowerment tips on how to live your best life; mind, business, & relationships.  And be sure to connect with me on Instagram @Reese__Dennis♥️♥️