Okay, so listen… I don’t often share such fresh lessons. I usually like to let things marinate for a bit. But I just couldn’t move on until I posted this (couldn’t even sleep). Many times when we pray for God to change our loved ones (especially our husbands), and pray with a sincere and open heart before God, He will often reveal what needs to change in us. WHEW… SOBERING!
A word of advice… just let God begin that good work in **you**! Be Encouraged, and if God tells you to “Let it go“, be obedient… and let HIM handle whatever “it” is!
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I recently shared a post reflecting on how things have totally changed over the past 365 days (read that here). I went from being a solo-preneur standing smack dab in the middle of purpose… to birthing a mini boss, and instantly becoming a mommypreneur. LAWD! Talk about TRANSITION. So, Today I’m taking it a bit further and sharing 3 ways I’ve been able to find harmony in my life! Whether you’re a mom of 1 or a mom of 5… a new mom or have been a mom for some time… this post is just for you! Especially if you are navigating that space of building an empire! Read with an open heart and Be encouraged!
1. First things first.
I’m not sure how you prioritize your life, but this year I’ve been extremely intentional about mine:
2. Family/home (Dream and Keem)
With my priorities in check, I’m able to better manage how I make business decisions. If a business decisions or commitment doesn’t align with what God has spoken over my life, or pulls me away from my family… it makes it easy to say “not this time”. I think may of us as moms don’t have our priorities straight. We say, “Family first”, but our decisions say the EXACT opposite. The first step to finding and maintaining harmony in your life as a mom on a mission is to keep your commitments in alignment with your priorities and values! Ask:
-What’s most important to you?
-How can you better prioritize your life, keeping first things first?
“Harmony is achieved only after you’ve identified what’s most important and prioritize accordingly”.
2. Pray & plan ahead. Pivot as needed!
There are certain things that I know I want to complete weekly and if I don’t plan for them, like literally write them down in my planner AND on the calendar, I know I will miss it.
Whether it’s setting aside time to write an article, recording a new video series, hit the grocery store, pump (yes I’m still nursing), coordinate visits/play dates, update my website, do the laundry, correspond/meet with clients, ETC… it takes some SERIOUS and Intentional planning. And how I plan lines up with what I’ve prioritized! Yes, there are days when I just go with the flow, because that’s the only way to survive the day (😩😭😂), but I have a general plan for my week, in writing, to keep me on target!
I’m all about FLOW! And no, this isn’t a perfect situation. There have been times where I’ve planned things out to a T, and Dream just wasn’t on board. Take this post for example. I planned and set aside time to write, during Dream’s nap time. However, my teething 8-month old needed her mommy (poor thing)! And so here I am, typing while nursing! Anyone with kids will tell you, no two days are alike. So pray, plan and pivot as needed!
What are your weekly non-negotiables?
How can you plan ahead to account for those moments when your baby/babies aren’t in agreement?
“Planning ahead and taking action is a success strategy. Prayer and staying connected to THE Source is key”!
3. Check in, OFTEN!
Whether it’s communicating with your spouse, or checking in with yourself and reflecting on what is working… check in often! Celebrate your wins (no matter how small), and adjust as needed. For me I seriously had MORE time to work in my business when Dream was a little younger. I could put her in her bouncers/swing for self play and use those moments to get things done. But now… NOW that this little yummy nugget is mobile, and I barely have the time to even respond to an email. Why? Because I have to keep my eyes on her at ALL times 😭😭😭. With that, I had to do three things:
1. Check in with myself to determine what I needed to flourish in this season. I had to reassess my commitments how I plan to keep them.
2. Adjust my daily “routine” while I’m home alone with Dream to be in alignment with my current reality. She is sleeping much less during the day, so my availability and “free time” is no longer the same. I have to adjust accordingly.
3. Communicate with my hubby to figure out our schedules, to see how I could add in some productive/work time while he’s home. I also had to cut bak in other areas
Once I made the shift, harmony was not that far behind. I went from being overwhelmed and frustrated, feeling like I couldn’t get ANYTHING done… to discovering creative ways to pursue purpose! God is bomb like that. As you acknowledge HIM… He directs you’re every move! His is the MASTER CREATOR, and there is no part of your life that He can’t remedy!
-How have things changed for you over the past few months?
-How can you adjust to reignite the harmony in your life?
As things change around you, YOU MUST ADJUST. Check in often, acknowledge the change, seek God for wisdom and PIVOT!
Bonus: GET DRESSED!
I shower and get dressed every day. I have things in my wardrobe that are easy to throw on but are well coordinated to make me feel like somebody! Okay! I cannot stress the importance of showing up for yourself in this way. For me it’s an instant mood boost. Walking around in my robe all day vs. walking around in a jogger set or a cute pullover and some leggings. It makes a difference. Especially when I’m able to sit and work. I’m in a mental space to produce when I’m dressed.
-How can you show up for yourself with what you wear?
-What wardrobe adjustments can you make today?
“What you wear and how you show up for work is important… especially when you work for yourself”
It’s week 5 of the Fierce 5💍 Marriage Series, and we’re ending the series with another BOMB feature!! Yaaaasssss! The super fly Lady Shante Baldwin, is dropping gems! Married for 14 years, check out what she has to say about respecting differences, affirming your spouse’s leadership, and how to embrace the “waiting room”.
1. How many years have you been married,
and what has being married for xx years taught you?
I have been married for 14 years, going on 15 in August. As I reflect on the last 14, one of the things it has taught me was torespect our differences.See we are different in many ways, He is an extrovert and I am an introvert. He’s out going and I’mlaid back. Over the years I had to learn that our personalities are not the same.We were different in the way we walked, the way we talked, the way we moved etc.This brought on lots of disagreements. I likepurpleI like blue, it doesn’t take all that, it does take all that lol. Then finally it was an “aha” moment in my marriage where I recognized, I had to mastermy husband’s personality to understand whyhe does what he does, andthinks the way he thinks. Iwas stretched beyond my understanding.During theprocess,there were many ups and downs,heated fellowshipsandchallenging moments, but love would win every time.Knowing your spouse’s personality is key. This will bring peace within the marriage andhelp you to understand your spouse moreand more.
2. You are definitely a “woman of purpose” how have you navigated that space of being a help-mate for your husband, and a woman with a purpose/platform/ministry? What challenges have you had to overcome and how?
Navigating through being a helpmate to my Husband and a woman of purpose was challenging at times. At one point, I was working full time, taking care of the household, we had three children and the ministry. You can imagine lol. I was meeting with women in the ministry, preparing for women fellowships, and so much more. It became challenging and the load was heavy. I was confronted with needing to create balance that would not disrupt my home. I prayed and sought the Lord for wisdom. I knew that I was to be that proverbs 31 women. Having a true man of God makes all the difference, because we both knew we were called to be a Man and a Women of purpose, we had to come up with something that worked for us. We worked together, shared the tasks at hand, and split the responsibilities. We overcame by understanding each other’s unique identity, talents, calling etc. One of the things that my husband and myself would always say we were “married on purpose”.
3. What word of advice/wisdom do you have for the young wife who is struggling with “submission”?
The bible tells us to submit to our husbands as unto the Lord. Submission does not mean that a wife is inferior, less intelligent or less competent than her husband. It doesn’t mean that you don’t have a voice or that he is controlling, it’s about trusting your husband to lead the family and aligning your heart with the vision of the marriage. It gives the wife the opportunity to affirm his leadership. As a new wife, you must allow your husband to lead in a way that he submits to the Lord, and you submit to him. It’s nothing wrong with you giving input, asking questions and helping. Submit in a way that he knows that you are his biggest cheerleader and got his back.
4. What about the singles who want to be married, and feel like they’ve been waiting FOREVER? What does it truly mean to “wait on God” as a single woman waiting to be found? Is it just a cliche?
What a greatquestion.Waiting on God is not a cliché at all.I waited! Ladies be encouraged in the waiting room.Itdoes not mean you sit around and wait for your mate.Waiting on the Lord truly means that you embrace this moment. Use this time to become:
A lady of reckless abandon, unlocking the treasures that are inside of you.
A lady of diligencebeing diligent with your relationship with the Lord.
A lady of virtuesharing high moral standards, not compromising in any way shapeor form, butworkingon yourself.
Becomea womanthat iswhole andlet Him find you serving the Lord, emotionally healthy, and Spiritually sound. When he shows up, you will be ready, set and sound to receive who God has for you.
5. Anything else/advice/wisdom you feel led to share?
Ladies remember that there is not another you! Whatever your position is, whether you are married or single,show up well andMaximizeDestiny Now!!!
Lady Shante Baldwin
Yasssss to all of the above! Love what you’re reading! Be sure to comment below and let us know your thoughts! We’re going LIVE for another Fierce 5 chat and changing this up a bit! So be sure to connect with me on Facebookso you don’t miss out!
And be sure to connect with me on Instagram, @reese__dennis, for a more wisdom from the Fierce 5💍! Can’t wait to hear from you!
Hey ladies! In case you missed this week’s Fierce 5 Live Chat with Tia Glenn, the replay is posted below! We did things a little different this time around and went live on FB! 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾 Having just a few technical difficulties getting the actual video posted… So click the link below to view the full replay! Get your entire life🔥🔥🔥! Be sure to like, comment, and share! Super excited for this week’s feature!
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Happy Marriage Monday, ladies! It’s week 4 of the “Fierce 5” series, and today Angie Somers is here to help the sistahs! OK!!! A word for the married,married with children and my singles… you don’t want to miss this one! Y’all I’m HYPED over here! The wisdom is dripping from the screen! So whether you’re hearing this for the first time, or it’s coming as a timely reminder, glean and Be encouraged! -Reese
How many years have you been married, and what has being married taught you?
I’ve been happily married for 21 years to my wonderful husband Marvin. Being married for this long had taught me that with Christ, all things are possible. Early on in our marriage things weren’t like they are now. If you want something to last you have to be willing to put in the work and forgive.
What are 3 key ingredients that have helped you build a healthy marriage?
Keep Christ in The Center of Your Marriage
Date Frequently (Spend quality time with each other on purpose)
Love on Each Other (Spend more time Loving vs. Fussing)
What word of advice/wisdom do you have for the young wife?
Stop trying to change your husband. Pray and ask God to help your husband be what He’s called him to be. Allow God to do the work and you’ll reap the benefits.
Keep other people out of your marriage. I don’t care who they are. Unless you are seeking good godly counsel like in Psalm 37:30, don’t tell Mama and them all of your business.
What about the singles? What word of advice can you share to help the single women, who desires to be married?
Listen singles ladies… Stop searching so hard for “Mr. Right”. Trust me, I’ve been there and it didn’t work. The scripture says in Proverbs 18:22 – He who finds a wife finds a good thing…
Ask God to help you be the “good thing” He is talking about in the scripture and your future husband will find you. Trust in God’s timing and stop dating men who treat you like you are an option. Stop allowing a bunch of mess and confusion. Either he wants to be with you or he doesn’t. If he doesn’t, set him free and then God can bring the man He wants for you in to your life. (THIS -Reese). Don’t become bitter before that time. 😉
Anything else/advice/wisdom you feel led to share?
If you are already married and have children, continue to date your husband. Don’t get so consumed in the children that you neglect each other. One day the children will grow up, move out (hopefully) and then it’ll be just you and your husband in the home. Think of creative and new things to do with each other right now. Yes, life will sometimes get in the way but I guarantee you if you spend quality time with each other purposefully, your marriage will last.