Confident Mom · encouragement · Married Moms · mommy support · Work Life Balance

How to Ask for the Support You Need as a Mom | It’s the Specificity for Me

Nothing grinds my gears more than seeing this narrative circulating on social media!

If you’re on social media I’m sure you’ve seen this or some variation of this at one point or another. You may have even reposted it. Well This was my response!

Since becoming a mom 3 years ago, I’ve been doing the work, and partnering with my hubby and trusted loved ones to create my village of support.  No more suffering in silence, waiting for others to read my mind! No more trying to do it all by myself. I am committed to using my voice and asking for exactly what I need from those who are in my life!

I’m now a mom of two, and I find myself having to go back and revisit my mommy support strategy.  Each season of motherhood is different, and the support that I need now as a mom of two, is completely different from what I needed in the last season with just a toddler to care for.

So as I’m going through this process again myself, I wanted to go a bit deeper, to really hone in on why I believe most moms struggle with this and what we can do to shift the narrative. It’s time to normalize moms being specific when asking for the support that they need from their husbands and trusted loved one. 

You may be reading this and saying, I get what you’re saying, but where do I even start? Or Maybe you struggle with knowing exactly HOW to ask for the help and support you need. Well you’re in the right place. I’ve got the answer so let’s get right into it!

 

1. Identify the areas in your life where you need help.

Understand needing help is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength. Pray and make your request known to God. Then take a look at your day/week/month, and list out the areas where you need help. Be specific, and write it down. Make a list in your phone while nursing your little one, or take a few moments on your lunch break.  Think about what tasks cause the most stress, or where you don’t feel supported enough. Again, be specific! Don’t just write  “help around the house” or “help with the kids” be clear about what that actually looks like. Does “help around the house” mean  cooking and loading/unloading the dishwasher? Or does that mean deep cleaning the bathroom? Does “help with the kids” mean helping with bed time duties? Or helping with school pickup during the week? Again… identify what you need and be specific.

 

2. Identify what all is needed to get that specific thing done.

This is key, and took a bit of trial and error for me to really understand why this was such an important step in the process. Why? Well because what may be second nature for us as moms, may be completely foreign to someone else. So if we ask for help, and expect the person we’re asking to just understand how to get it done… we may find ourselves resentfully going back to redo/fix what that person did. And that only leads to us not asking for help again… and that’s not a good look! Being specific with our request for help, and what is needed to get that thing done makes a huge difference.

3. Identify the areas in your life where you can hire help.

As you’re identifying  the specifics of the help and support you need, you may find that the people in your life aren’t able to show up in this season. This is when you must give yourself permission to hire the help that you need. This could look like hiring a house keeper, paying for a meal service, laundry service, childcare or even therapy (like for real)! I know that in some communities, it’s frowned upon to hire/pay for help, but you have to make the decisions that will best serve you and your family. This was something my husband and I recently discovered. We sat down, and I presented to my husband some of the things that I needed help with around the house, and how beneficial it would be for me and for our family if we outsourced and hired someone to do it. Such a game changer! Listen! The time we get back in exchange for outsourcing some of these mundane tasks, is totally worth it. 

So what did you discover? Did you write out your list? Did you identify the specifics? Now it’s time to put it to use! Click here and Download my Mommy Support Cheat Sheet so that you can start to experience what it feels like to finally get the help and support you need from your husband and trusted loved ones!

 

xx,

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Check out these other great posts!

 

 

Confident Mom · encouragement · Mommy Life · mommy support · Self Care

3 things I’m Learning to STOP Saying to Myself | Audio

Does this resonate with you? Be sure to like, comment below, or shoot me a DM over on IG @theresa_ _dennis  and as always SHARE with a momma who needs this!

 

Other posts mentioned in this audio: click below!

 

xx

 

Confident Mom · Married Life · Married Moms · Mommy Life · mommy support

Video| Unpopular Opinion | Celebrate Your Husband

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Grab the Mommy Support Cheat Sheet Here!

‼️‼️Unpopular opinion ‼️‼️

‼️It’s OKAY to celebrate YOUR husband and the ways he steps up to support YOU as a mom, even for things other people say isn’t a big deal because that’s what he “should be doing”! 

Just imagine what a difference it could make if the next time your husband steps up to support YOU as a mom (especially after doing the work to be specific in asking  for the support that you need from him)

you replaced your…

❌“It’s about time you stepped up” attitude/comment

With

✅ “Babe… I see you stepping up for me and the family”

Or

✅ “Thank you so much for making me/us/this a priority”

Or a simple

✅ “Thank you. I appreciate you”

 

What we focus on… whether with criticism or encouragement… is often what we SEE repeated!

Ask yourself…

Am I encouraging my man and letting him know I appreciate the ways he’s supporting me and the family? (Yes, even while you’re working on other areas?)

Or do you find yourself **ONLY** highlighting his mistakes, failures and how he’s disappointing you?

Listen no husband/wife or marriage is perfect… we all make mistakes, fall short, miss the mark… but I find it to be so very important to celebrate the moments when we get it right, as we work on those other areas!

You can do both! Stop letting culture dictate what’s worthy of celebrating in your marriage!

Momma, I know firsthand the power of recognition/celebration/making deposits.. and I promise you… making deposits and empowering your husband  will only do wonders for the future of how he supports you as a mom!

Grab the Mommy Support Cheat Sheet Here!

 

 

 

 

 

 

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SHARE THIS with the moms who need this reminder!

Married Life · Married Moms · Mommy Life · mommy support · Self Care

Video | The One Thing that Changed the Way my Husband Supports me as a Mom

 

Learn more about “D-Day” here! 

Listen, most of us as moms already know just how important self care is, yet many don’t feel supported enough to actually get the time they know they deserve and need!  I don’t play about getting my husband on board to support me, and I don’t want you to be left in the dark. So go ahead and grab my free Mommy Support Cheat Sheet, where I share a quick overview of my proven method to help you set the stage (and create your own “D-Day”) and finally get the mommy support your crave from your husband! Yes, this is LITERALLY what I do!

Get to work momma! And as always be sure to subscribe and SHARE with a momma who needs this!!

xx,