If you’ve been following the blog for any considerable amount of time then you already know my thoughts on “balance” as a mom. Balance just doesn’t in my book. There I’ve said it, again! I know that many have assigned their own definitions to the word, but it truly is a misnomer. For me, I’ve found it extremely helpful… and freeing even… to ditch the word “balance” all together.
For me it’s all about creating HARMONY and FLOW.
Harmony is nothing new on the blog. Over the past two weeks I felt led, burdened even to really dig in deeper and share how God has been working in and through me, showing me how to do this thing called life as a SAHM of two small children. So let’s get into it.
What is Harmony?
Harmony in your life as a mom is when what you do, and how you do what you do, align with the set priorities for that particular season of your journey. There is no confusion. There is no competition. There is flow.
Before go any further, I want you to listen to at least 10 seconds of the following. Go ahead, press play!
In this video you see a number of musicians playing in 5 specific instrumental sections: woodwinds, brass, percussion, strings, and keyboards. At different times throughout this piece, some instruments are playing, while other aren’t. There is even a solo. At other parts of the song some instruments are playing louder than others, while at other times the tempo changes. I’m no expert, but what I see and hear is harmony & flow. Each musician knows what to do with their instrument throughout the piece. They know what notes to play and the tempo to follow. But most importantly they understand how to flow with the rest of the orchestra. There’s no competition. You don’t see the strings trying to be percussion, and the brass isn’t trying to outdo the keyboards.
Every instruments in its place, playing its part, at the right time.
I like to think of mom life as a symphony orchestra. Go with me for a minute!
In each season of our lives, we have to first determine which instruments we will need for our master pieces. In mom life, this is when you prioritize and determine what all is actually needed and important for you to do live well as a mom in this season.
Once you have your instruments (your priorities), then you need to determine what notes each instrument needs to play in order for the masterpiece to sound beautiful, and for there to be flow. This is when we make a plan for our lives and homes based on the priorities we’ve set.
No the instruments, or rather musicians, won’t know what to play without their sheet music. This is when we actually have to prepare and get super clear on the action steps needed to carry out that plan… again, based on the priorities we’ve determined are most important in this season.
Let’s not forget the countless hours of rehearsal. During rehearsal, the musicians may have to PIVOT, while changes are being made to make sure there is harmony.
But can I tell you what is the most important part of this entire process… THE CONDUCTOR! The conductor LEADS the orchestra. The purpose of the conductor is to lead & unify performers, set the tempo, execute clear preparations and beats, listen critically and shape the sound of the ensemble, and control the interpretation and pacing of the music. Without the conductor, there is chaos.
COME ON SOMEBODY!
In mommy terms, that’s the Lord! Without looking to Jesus to empower us and His Holy Spirit to guide and equip us… there is literal chaos in our lives! At the heart of creating harmony and flow in your life and home is a posture of prayer. Everything and I mean everything when to comes to doing this thing called life well… flows from staying connected to The Source.
So how do we create harmony in our lives? We create harmony and flow by doing the following:
Seek God about your life. (Provers 3:5-5, Philippians 4:6)
Spending time with God in prayer, in His word and in His presence is the most essential thing for us to do as Christian moms, yet this is the one area of our lives we seem to struggle with the most. Finding time to commune with God. Have you ever asked yourself, why? That was me. I kept hearing other Christian mommas say “I know it’s hard to find time to spend alone with God when you’re a mom of littles”. And to be honest I started to accept this as my truth. As my norm. But that just wasn’t working for me. And it wasn’t the life I wanted to live. I wanted to make time, space and room for God in my life, so I did.
Our normalizing not having (not making) time to pray and spend in God’s Word and presence, is the BIGGEST SCAM. Especially since God is The ONE we need most in order to mother well. -Theresa D.
If you want to experience flow in your life as a mom, you must begin with the Source. Prayer and seeking our Father, Who has the blueprint for your life, is essential to being victorious in this thing called mom life!
What is important in this season? (Ecclesiastes 3:1)
Priorities help to guide your life. When yuo have your priorities properly set, you can easily distinguish between your “yes” and “not right now”.
God is so good, that when we seek Him he answers! A huge part of my life is asking God “what is the priority in this season of my life”. Because if you’ve lived long enough, and if you study your Word you know God operates in seasons. Your life as a mom is no different. So setting your priorities, based on what God is calling you to do, and who He is calling you to be in this season is vital!
What is the plan? (Proverbs 16:3)
When you know your priorities, it is easier to create a plan that aligns. As you plan, specificity matters. In my world there are 3 types of plans. Plan A, PLAN B, and Nonnegotiables.
Plan A is your main plan. That is on an ideal day in an ideal world this is what you will do.
Plan B is the back up plan. Make as many backup as you may need, because let’s be clear… mom life is one of the most unpredictable things ever! So create a backup that aligns with you priorities.
Nonnegotiables are the things you’ll do no matter what, and help to guide you when the unpredictable happens. Think “keep my children safe”, or “cover my husband in prayer”. Things that are just your way of living and won’t change.
What do I need to do to execute my plan? (Proverbs 31:17, 25b)
When you have a plan in place, you will then know how to prepare to execute that plan. The more prepared you are, the more likely you are to follow through. Not to mention decision fatigue is real. When you can take as much guesswork out of your everyday todos, it makes a world of difference.
Change is inevitable. How do I adjust and shift through the seasons? (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8)
The second most important component of this process… the wisdom, discernment and flexibility to pivot. Listen, if you’ve been a mom for more than a day… then you already know things can be unpredictable. And when things don’t go as planned, knowing how and when to pivot is crucial. You must also give yourself the grace and permissions to change course. There is no shame in realizing the plan just ain’t giving what it was supposed to gave… PIVOT. And as you do, acknowledge God at you will only know how to PIVOT by keeping your focus on what is most important (your priorities).
Follow the PEACE
All of this requires wisdom, understand and discernment. (Philippians 4:7)
I know that some of you reading this are dilligently pursuing “balance”. You feel this pressure to do all the things, and get it together, but you feel like no matter what you do, you just can’t figure out this mom life thing. Truth is we can’t figure it all out… on our own! We need JESUS, and His resurrecting power to do thing thing, chi! Some of you are saying “yes, Theresa I get that, but even when I feel like I’ve got a handle on things as a mom, there is always ‘something'”. Listen, the truth is… there will always be “something”. God’s Word tells me that many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers us out of them all (Psalm 34:19)! There is deliverance. There is victory. And yes, there is peace!
You can can mother well and experience joy unspeakable as a mom. You can create harmony and flow in your life and home even when the seasons seem extremely challenging. With Christ, we can do this! We need to abide in Him in order to thrive as moms!
Over the next several weeks, in our Ditch the Balance series, I’ll be digging deeper and sharing what it takes to apply this to your life. I’m so grateful for how God has breathed life into this thing, and I cannot wait to share all about it. Be sure that you are subscribed to the blog so you’ll know exactly when the next posts are published in this series. BUT most importantly…. SHARE, SHARE, SHARE with a momma who needs this!