Confident Mom · encouragement · Married Life · Married Moms · Mommy Life · Work Life Balance · Working Moms

Pressed | A Lesson from (to) the Overachieving Mom

A few weeks ago a Facebook memory popped up from my stories that made me cringe a bit. 

For reference… it was a 6 part story thread posted 2 years ago. I was going on about my goals as a “mompreneur” and I remember just how pressed I was to prove I still had it all together since becoming a mom. Now, don’t get me wrong, I did have some “mom things” figured out, but what I remember  most is how I felt this immense pressure to perform and show up in this self proclaimed “mompreneur” role,  and over time it became an exhausting expectation I placed on myself… show up for the people. Whew.

Now let me tell you a little bit about what was going on at that time. Just a few weeks prior to that 6 part story thread, God made it explicitly clear that I was to step away from my then Hair Slayed By Reese styling business, and  I  just felt like I had to immediately step into “doing” something else. Something  that I could call “purposeful”. I was determined to keep up appearances. As much as I claimed to be walking in my purpose, the truth is I was more concerned with looking the part, as oppose to actually aligning my life with who God was calling me to be.

A year of that went on! Yes a year of pressure, people pleasing and trying to prove myself! A year of following all the gurus’ advice, trying to launch and pitch and position myself as an expert because I desperately wanted to be seen as important and successful… and it was exhausting! 

Fast forward to today, and guess where God has me? Guess where I found my freedom from all the pressure, and my purpose in this season? I’ll give you a hint… it has nothing to do with trying to prove how successful I am. 

I’m a full blown Stay at Home Mom and Wife and I’m embracing that as where God desires for me to be in this season.  Prioritizing God above all things and pouring from my overflow into my family. God showed me that this is my first ministry, and that the road I was on previously wasn’t leading me to a place that He desired for me. 

Since embracing this space and season (which let me tell you has not been easy), I found myself more present with my daughter, husband and myself. I’m more prayerful about the things concerning our lives individually and as a family! I’m more aware of what’s taking place with my husband and how to be his helpmate. And the time freedom is beautiful! 

Scripture has become more alive to me than ever before. Like verses I’ve known and memorized, have breathed new life into this season of my journey. I’m also more present and aware of who I am in Christ (especially without all of the titles, praise and need for validation).  This is particularly important since I used to be so afraid, embarrassed almost, when people used to ask me “what do you do”.   I’ve even experienced a bit of “shaming” and side eyes from other moms when I shared that I’m a stay at home mom and wife (more on this another time because it’s deep and needs to be addressed).

Now I know this is a special place, and a privilege. I remember praying for this life, and now I see it for the blessing that it is (even with all of the challenges). I am the CEO of my home, and I’m learning to love it here. And anywhere that God places you is always blessed!

It’s all about God and His timing, and actively flourishing where I’m planted until it’s time for the next thing!

I know this is not everyone’s story. I’m connected to more working moms and mommypreneurs than I can count. But I must tell you that no matter what  “work” you find yourself doing,  the only work that will bring about an everlasting reward is the work we do for God. And you’re  a wife and a mom… that always involves putting Him first in all that we do,  and tending to our first ministry. Our homes.

Being pressed to show up (show off), and perform is not it. Hustling and overwhelming yourself  to create a booming business, while your home is in flames is not a part of His plan for your life. Of course, this doesn’t mean don’t build your empire or work outside the home. Nonsense!  Listen God has already given me a vision of some of the things I will do in the marketplace, and I’m excited when the time comes. 

This is all about obedience.

This is all about prioritizing our lives in such a way to ensure that we are aligned with who God is calling us to be in every season! Even when others don’t get it, or think we can “do more” because they see us as “gifted” and “called”. We have nothing to prove, when it comes to obeying Him. 

We all need to do a heart check, and often. The way society is set up, it is so EASY to spiral down the wrong path. I encourage each of us to pray and ask our Father “is the work I am doing aligned with Your will for my life?  Am I living for an audience of One? Or am I pressed? Purely responding to the pressure to perform and please others?” And if you find that anything is out of order, ask Him to open your eyes to see so that the necessary changes can be made in my life, today in Jesus’ name!

Obedience and aligning our lives with Him, in EVERY SEASON, will always be the way!

 

xx,

 

 

 

Check out these other amazing posts!

Click below!

 

 

 

Confident Mom · encouragement · Mommy Life · Self Care · Work Life Balance · Working Moms

The One Thing I’m Learning to Stop doing to my Child!

Hey Momma!

We all know how detrimental comparison and the “pressure to perform” are to our lives as moms, but have you ever considered how it may be impacting the lives of your children? Whew! I know… today I’m sharing a MAJOR (and somewhat funny) lesson I recently learned and how it can help you on your mommy journey! Check it out here to watch now!

“To Your Own Child Be True”

 

Does this resonate with you? Be sure to like, comment below and as always share with a momma who needs this!

xx

 

Hey Check out these other great videos on my YouTube channel!!


We Don’t talk about this enough as moms!

 

Momma, The One Thing You need to let God handle!

Married Life · Mommy Life · Self Care · Working Moms

“I’m Proud of Myself” | MY Holiday/2021 Reflection

“I’m Proud of You”

I’m no stranger to these 4 words. I am surrounded by amazing people who love, support and genuinely want me to win in life. I’m blessed. And as a recovering people pleaser, I’ve realized just how much I’ve relied on this sentiment, applause and praise from others to guide me… without really taking the time to acknowledge this for myself. Like I rarely took the time to say “I’m proud of you girl” to myself.

So much can change in a year…

And it took cancelled holiday plans, an unusual birthday, and surviving an unexpected and oh so in-the-way winter Storm to help me realize just how far I’ve come… and I’m soooo incredibly proud of myself!

Grab your tea, click below and take a listen as I share 12 reasons why I am so incredibly proud of myself, and what I am doing to help guide my life in 2022! I know it will encourage you!

 

Posts Mentioned in audio:

“Jesus, Therapy & Self Care”

“A Lesson on Managing Transitions”

 

Great, you’re still here… can I show you something super special to me!

I didn’t get to mention this in the audio, but I’m so proud of my decorating efforts from this season! I gave myself permission to take it one season at a time, one room at a time… one area in that room at a time… This year was all about the living room couch lol. Here are a few photos!  I’m so proud of myself!

 

 

YASSS!!! OKAY… you’re still scrolling! 

It’s been on my heart, so I have to ask…

Are you overwhelmed?

Are you long overdue and in desperate need of some “me time“? Are you struggling to “find the time” for yourself with all the “demands” on your plate as a mom a wife, and in your career/business?  Do feel like you don’t have the help or support you need to care for yourself? You know you need some serious self care, and you’re ready to take radical action to prioritize yourself, and finally “fill your cup”?

If you’re sitting there, nodding your head, with the sound of your littles in the background, I have exactly what you need!

 

The Ultimate Self Care Guide for Busy and working moms!

5 simple steps to finally “find the time”, and unapologetically create & enjoy a guilt-free lifestyle of Radical Self Care… starting today!

Click To learn all about it!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

encouragement · Married Life · Mommy Life · Self Care · Working Moms

5 Mommy Myths to Ditch Today

1 “Self Care is Selfish”

I’m not sure how this became a thing for moms, but it is the furthest thing from the truth.  Self Care is not only vital for our wellbeing as moms… it’s biblical! From the author of Proverbs 31:17 detailing the ways a woman equips herself with spiritual, mental and physical strength for her“God give task”, to Jesus inviting  us in Matthew 11:28 “…to come to Him and He will give us rest”… we are encouraged to care for ourselves.

Self Care is essential, and is exactly what we need in order to show up in the areas that matter most as moms; in our families, our homes, in our careers/businesses, our churches, our marriages and in life! We must take the time to pour into ourselves spiritually, mentally, physically, emotionally and relationally. According to the Oxford Dictionary “Self” + “Care”  is literally  “the provision of what is necessary for your wellbeing, health, welfare, maintenance and protection”.  From spending time with Jesus, therapy, rest, setting boundaries… it is all essential… and there ain’t nothing selfish about it. 

 

2. “Asking for help means I’m not doing a good job as a mom”

Been there, felt that! And with over 73% of millennial moms having reported feeling like they were failing their families… I know I’m not alone. I recently shared a similar sentiment with my therapist, and she responded with the following:

“asking for help and getting the support you need isn’t a sign of weakness but a sign of wisdom and strength.  You have lifelines all around you… and you will only benefit from using them”.

Listen, asking for help is not a sign of weakness or failure. Asking for and receiving the support you need… whether in therapy, from trusted loved ones, hiring help for childcare or food services… it’s all sign of strength, resourcefulness and grace. Furthermore, studies* have proven countless times that receiving help from others (a form of self care) not only Improves your ability to cope with stressful situations, but it also helps to alleviating the effects of emotional distress as well as enhances self esteem (confidence). Momma, you were not meant to be and/or do this mom-thing alone.  So start asking for and accepting the support you need… it will literally change your life!

 

3. “Stress, overwhelm, & burnout are the trifecta of mom life… we just have to deal with it”

have no idea who is spreading this venomous lie, but I came to set the record straight… YOU DO NOT HAVE TO SIT IN “The struggle”. Will you feel stressed, and experience overwhelm as a mom… yup! In a recent study on the State of Motherhood over 93% of millennial moms reported occasionally experiencing burnout. So, yes… it’s a real thing! But you don’t have to “just deal with it”. That is the furthest thing from the truth.

You can… and have every right to…  get the help you need so that you are able to make the changes that best serve you and your family.  You can choose to do things differently, and in a way that allows you to experience grace and flow in your family, home and purpose!

Yes, harmony is a real thing and it can totally be your experience if you’re willing to do the work. This may mean going to therapy, or hiring a guide to help you create a guilt-free plan of action for self care, or maybe you just have to stop saying “yes” to EVERY request that comes your way (overcommitting is a thing and it will run you into the ground if you don’t check it).

All this to say… you always have a choice, and you can indeed live life as a mom that excites and serves you without always feeling stuck and overwhelmed. You don’t have to just deal with it.

 

4. “As long as the kids are happy… that’s all that matters”

I know this may not sit well with everyone, but your kids’ happiness (which is fleeting) is not all that matters. Raising kids who are emotionally fit, and capable of understanding and processing their emotions, matters. Teaching kids how to set and honor boundaries, even the ones you’ve set, matters. Helping your children understand that they will not always get their way, or always be happy, matters. Letting them know they can talk with you, even when they are mad/upset with a decision you’ve made, matters. Holding space for your children so that they know they are loved, seen and heard… whew… it matters!

And In the midst of all that we do for our children, our families, in our marriages and our home,  do you know who is at the center of it all? You. Don’t you ever overlook just how vital and valuable you are.

You matter!

Taking care of yourself, matters!

Prioritizing your wellbeing, matters!

Honoring your marriage, matters!

Making time to pursues your dreams, goals, and the lifestyle that serves you and your family… yup it all matters!

So no, your kids’ happiness isn’t all that matter. Let’s shift the narrative to what all matters!

 

5. “Kiss the intimacy in your marriage good-bye now that you have kids… that’s just how it is”

The truth is, your marriage most likely will change after having children… especially if you’ve had children since the pandemic. But a major lesson I’ve learned since becoming a mom, is that we don’t have to settle for “that’s just how it is”.  Especially when we want things to be better. Marriage in and of itself is work, and when you add in little people… it can be a whole lot. But the truth is… It will work, if you work it. Communication is so critical, as is intentionally making the time to spend time together and date each other! 

What I know is that intimacy and support go hand in hand. But getting the support that we crave for as moms doesn’t just drop out of thin air (for most of us). As much as I would love for men to “just get it” and know how to support us as moms, they don’t. They’re not mind readers. So, we have to use our voices to let them know exactly what that support looks like. Most men are ready to rise to the occasion, but they don’t know how. Or they may assume that because you haven’t said anything,  what they are doing is enough. We have to communicate.

Listen, ever since my husband and I decided to have our weekly “D-Day”... where we discuss what’s working/how to support each other, make decisions that will best serve our family, and date… our marriage has gotten even stronger.  We both feel seen, have a specific time of the week to be heard and express it all, and my husband is learning how to support me as a mom because I’ve been clear about what I need (and vice versa). And let me tell you… when you feel seen, heard and supported… the loving and intimacy is 🔥🔥🔥… yes even with children.

It’s not perfect, nor is it easy… but it is always worth it. You can always choose to do the work to change and make things better.

 

xx

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s been on my heart, so I have to ask…

Are you overwhelmed?

Are you long overdue and in desperate need of some “me time“? Are you struggling to “find the time” for yourself with all the “demands” on your plate as a mom a wife, and in your career/business?  Do feel like you don’t have the help or support you need to care for yourself? You know you need some serious self care, and you’re ready to take radical action to prioritize yourself, and finally “fill your cup”?

If you’re sitting there, nodding your head, with the sound of your littles in the background, I have exactly what you need!

 

The Ultimate Self Care Guide for Busy and working moms!

5 simple steps to finally “find the time”, and unapologetically create & enjoy a guilt-free lifestyle of Radical Self Care… starting today!

Click To learn all about it!

 

Mommy Life · Self Care · Working Moms

Radical Self Care + The Real Proverbs 31 Woman | Video

The more I do this work, the more I realize just how vital it is to take care of ourselves. I’m also well aware of the importance of the work I’m called to do for such a time as this! According to a 2021 State of Motherhood survey conducted by Motherly, over  93% of millennial mothers reported feeling burned out, occasionally. That’s major, and not just cause for concern… we need to take radical action in order to experience  radical change in our lives as moms! I’m talking intentionally and radically caring for ourselves, so that we can show up confidently in the areas that matter most… in our careers, with our families, in our homes… without the guilt and overwhelm.

This is serious business!!!

It’s no secret that my faith in Christ is the foundation of my life… and especially so since becoming a mom (I know I’m not alone).  Filling my cup spiritually has been a huge part of my self care regimen. Today, I want you to lean in, as I share a truth I recently discovered in Proverbs 31.  As we often look to the Proverbs 31 Woman as the “Standard” of the “Woman/Mom/Wife of Purpose”, I want you to join me for a closer look at her life… beyond all that she does for everyone else… and focus in on how she radically cares for herself in order to thrive in her God give tasks. Let’s Go!

 

The Real Proverbs 31 Woman from Reese Dennis on Vimeo.

 

May we never overlook the importance of caring for ourselves ever again. May this be more than just a conversation, but rather a specific and practical way of living in order to show up confidently in the areas that matter most to us as moms!

 

xx

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s been on my heart, so I have to ask…

Are you overwhelmed?

Are you long overdue and in desperate need of some “me time“? Are you struggling to “find the time” for yourself with all the “demands” on your plate as a mom a wife, and in your career/business?  Do feel like you don’t have the help or support you need to care for yourself? You know you need some serious self care, and you’re ready to take radical action to prioritize yourself, and finally “fill your cup”?

If you’re sitting there, nodding your head, with the sound of your littles in the background, I have exactly what you need!

 

The Ultimate Self Care Guide for Busy and working moms!

5 simple steps to finally “find the time”, and unapologetically create & enjoy a guilt-free lifestyle of Radical Self Care… starting today!

Click To learn all about it!

 

 

Love what you’re reading? Then momma, I want to hear from you!  Whether a working momma, mompreneur… How are you prioritizing yourself?  What do you do to help you show up confidently as a mom!? Share with me on social media…@theresa__Dennis    and be sure to share with a momma who needs this reminder!