Mommy Life · Self Care

Video | Mom Life and Managing Transitions | A Word from my Walk

You ever had one of those… “If it’s not one things it’s another” type of days? Yea?  Same! As I think back over 2021, I honestly feel like this has been my year of learning how to manage transitions. I felt like some thing was always changing, and I found myself in the midst of what felt like constant CHANGE! Whew!

Interestingly enough, and I know it’s not by chance… as I shared in my “Jesus Therapy and Self Care” audio post, this year has been one of the most challenging seasons of my life… yet at the same time one of the greatest! I can’t explain it, but God has truly been working on my heart, revealing and removing what doesn’t align with who He’s called me to be, opening my eyes and heart to ask for and receive the support that has changed my life…and the peace!  Whew!  The peace and joy in which I’ve taken refuge in midst of it all… nobody but God!

Well the other day, after having one of “those days”, I found myself in desperate need of some me time. You all already know, I don’t play about my self care and when I need it I always do my best to make it happen! I woke up early, asked my husband to take care of our daughter’s morning routine, bundled up as best I knew how…. and I flew down the road to my favorite trail. It was below freezing (30 degrees to be exact),  but I knew I NEEDED to get out and to this trail specifically.  I didn’t stay out too long, I walked for about a mile, and God met me! What a time we had, and as I prayed and reflected, He dropped this in my spirit and I just knew I had to turn on my camera and share it with you.

If you feel like you’re in the midst of change, or find things in constant transition… this if for you!

 

xx

It’s been on my heart, so I have to ask…

Are you overwhelmed?

Are you long overdue and in desperate need of some “me time“? Are you struggling to “find the time” for yourself with all the “demands” on your plate as a mom a wife, and in your career/business?  Do feel like you don’t have the help or support you need to care for yourself? You know you need some serious self care, and you’re ready to take radical action to prioritize yourself, and finally “fill your cup”?

If you’re sitting there, nodding your head, with the sound of your littles in the background, I have exactly what you need!

 

The Ultimate Self Care Guide for Busy and working moms!

5 simple steps to finally “find the time”, and unapologetically create & enjoy a guilt-free lifestyle of Radical Self Care… starting today!

Click To learn all about it!

 

 

encouragement · Married Life · Mommy Life · Self Care · Working Moms

5 Mommy Myths to Ditch Today

1 “Self Care is Selfish”

I’m not sure how this became a thing for moms, but it is the furthest thing from the truth.  Self Care is not only vital for our wellbeing as moms… it’s biblical! From the author of Proverbs 31:17 detailing the ways a woman equips herself with spiritual, mental and physical strength for her“God give task”, to Jesus inviting  us in Matthew 11:28 “…to come to Him and He will give us rest”… we are encouraged to care for ourselves.

Self Care is essential, and is exactly what we need in order to show up in the areas that matter most as moms; in our families, our homes, in our careers/businesses, our churches, our marriages and in life! We must take the time to pour into ourselves spiritually, mentally, physically, emotionally and relationally. According to the Oxford Dictionary “Self” + “Care”  is literally  “the provision of what is necessary for your wellbeing, health, welfare, maintenance and protection”.  From spending time with Jesus, therapy, rest, setting boundaries… it is all essential… and there ain’t nothing selfish about it. 

 

2. “Asking for help means I’m not doing a good job as a mom”

Been there, felt that! And with over 73% of millennial moms having reported feeling like they were failing their families… I know I’m not alone. I recently shared a similar sentiment with my therapist, and she responded with the following:

“asking for help and getting the support you need isn’t a sign of weakness but a sign of wisdom and strength.  You have lifelines all around you… and you will only benefit from using them”.

Listen, asking for help is not a sign of weakness or failure. Asking for and receiving the support you need… whether in therapy, from trusted loved ones, hiring help for childcare or food services… it’s all sign of strength, resourcefulness and grace. Furthermore, studies* have proven countless times that receiving help from others (a form of self care) not only Improves your ability to cope with stressful situations, but it also helps to alleviating the effects of emotional distress as well as enhances self esteem (confidence). Momma, you were not meant to be and/or do this mom-thing alone.  So start asking for and accepting the support you need… it will literally change your life!

 

3. “Stress, overwhelm, & burnout are the trifecta of mom life… we just have to deal with it”

have no idea who is spreading this venomous lie, but I came to set the record straight… YOU DO NOT HAVE TO SIT IN “The struggle”. Will you feel stressed, and experience overwhelm as a mom… yup! In a recent study on the State of Motherhood over 93% of millennial moms reported occasionally experiencing burnout. So, yes… it’s a real thing! But you don’t have to “just deal with it”. That is the furthest thing from the truth.

You can… and have every right to…  get the help you need so that you are able to make the changes that best serve you and your family.  You can choose to do things differently, and in a way that allows you to experience grace and flow in your family, home and purpose!

Yes, harmony is a real thing and it can totally be your experience if you’re willing to do the work. This may mean going to therapy, or hiring a guide to help you create a guilt-free plan of action for self care, or maybe you just have to stop saying “yes” to EVERY request that comes your way (overcommitting is a thing and it will run you into the ground if you don’t check it).

All this to say… you always have a choice, and you can indeed live life as a mom that excites and serves you without always feeling stuck and overwhelmed. You don’t have to just deal with it.

 

4. “As long as the kids are happy… that’s all that matters”

I know this may not sit well with everyone, but your kids’ happiness (which is fleeting) is not all that matters. Raising kids who are emotionally fit, and capable of understanding and processing their emotions, matters. Teaching kids how to set and honor boundaries, even the ones you’ve set, matters. Helping your children understand that they will not always get their way, or always be happy, matters. Letting them know they can talk with you, even when they are mad/upset with a decision you’ve made, matters. Holding space for your children so that they know they are loved, seen and heard… whew… it matters!

And In the midst of all that we do for our children, our families, in our marriages and our home,  do you know who is at the center of it all? You. Don’t you ever overlook just how vital and valuable you are.

You matter!

Taking care of yourself, matters!

Prioritizing your wellbeing, matters!

Honoring your marriage, matters!

Making time to pursues your dreams, goals, and the lifestyle that serves you and your family… yup it all matters!

So no, your kids’ happiness isn’t all that matter. Let’s shift the narrative to what all matters!

 

5. “Kiss the intimacy in your marriage good-bye now that you have kids… that’s just how it is”

The truth is, your marriage most likely will change after having children… especially if you’ve had children since the pandemic. But a major lesson I’ve learned since becoming a mom, is that we don’t have to settle for “that’s just how it is”.  Especially when we want things to be better. Marriage in and of itself is work, and when you add in little people… it can be a whole lot. But the truth is… It will work, if you work it. Communication is so critical, as is intentionally making the time to spend time together and date each other! 

What I know is that intimacy and support go hand in hand. But getting the support that we crave for as moms doesn’t just drop out of thin air (for most of us). As much as I would love for men to “just get it” and know how to support us as moms, they don’t. They’re not mind readers. So, we have to use our voices to let them know exactly what that support looks like. Most men are ready to rise to the occasion, but they don’t know how. Or they may assume that because you haven’t said anything,  what they are doing is enough. We have to communicate.

Listen, ever since my husband and I decided to have our weekly “D-Day”... where we discuss what’s working/how to support each other, make decisions that will best serve our family, and date… our marriage has gotten even stronger.  We both feel seen, have a specific time of the week to be heard and express it all, and my husband is learning how to support me as a mom because I’ve been clear about what I need (and vice versa). And let me tell you… when you feel seen, heard and supported… the loving and intimacy is 🔥🔥🔥… yes even with children.

It’s not perfect, nor is it easy… but it is always worth it. You can always choose to do the work to change and make things better.

 

xx

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s been on my heart, so I have to ask…

Are you overwhelmed?

Are you long overdue and in desperate need of some “me time“? Are you struggling to “find the time” for yourself with all the “demands” on your plate as a mom a wife, and in your career/business?  Do feel like you don’t have the help or support you need to care for yourself? You know you need some serious self care, and you’re ready to take radical action to prioritize yourself, and finally “fill your cup”?

If you’re sitting there, nodding your head, with the sound of your littles in the background, I have exactly what you need!

 

The Ultimate Self Care Guide for Busy and working moms!

5 simple steps to finally “find the time”, and unapologetically create & enjoy a guilt-free lifestyle of Radical Self Care… starting today!

Click To learn all about it!

 

encouragement · Married Life · Mommy Life

Mommy Confidence | 3 Tips to help You Show Up More Confidently as a Mom

1. Prioritize your self care.

Actually make the time to pour in to yourself.  You “make the time” by taking a real look at your current schedules (plural because you have multiple schedules when you consider your spouse and your kids),  identifying “pockets of time” (or a moment to get away on days off, early mornings, during nap time…etc), and then scheduling the time  for yourself (actually writing it down is a game changer).    I am a firm believer in SCHEDULING  time for myself and embracing the “mini moments” to fill my cup spiritually, emotionally, physically, mentally and relationally.  Spending time with Jesus, therapy, sun filled walks, sitting in silence in the car, daily affirmation using God’s word, lunch with friends, doing whatever makes you look and feel your best (my fave)…etc. It all counts! Whether 30 minutes, or a full weekend… Prioritize pouring into yourself!

2. Identify your own specific needs.

From childcare, to home schooling… being a working mom, mompreneur, corporate mom or SAHM… to  Hiring a chef, or a house keeper, or investing in the equipment to handle it yourself… get super clear about what you need and find your OWN FLOW! All schedules, routines, systems and lifestyles ARE NOT created equal. One size DOES NOT fit all. So you must get super clear about what you need. When you’re doing what’s best for you and your family, and let go of the need for approval from others… chiiii…. that’s freedom!

3. Ask for and accept support!

The more I do this work the more I realize that most moms feels overwhelmed and lack confidence as moms because they are trying to do it all by themselves. And sadly so many moms say that even with their best efforts, they feel like they’re falling short. Momma, let me free you with this NEWSFLASH… there’s no special reward or extra stimulus check coming because you’re trying to DO IT ALL BY YOURSELF!  Running yourself into the ground, is played out.  Believe me I speak from experience… Ask for support, accept it and allow those trusted loved ones (family, friends and YOUR HUSBAND) to pour into your life!

When you prioritize yourself as a mom, you show up more confidently, present and grounded as a mom, in your marriage, in your home and career! All the areas that matter most to you are impacted by how you care for yourself. So, take care… and prioritize yourself!

 

xx

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s been on my heart, so I have to ask…

Are you overwhelmed?

Are you long overdue and in desperate need of some “me time“? Are you struggling to “find the time” for yourself with all the “demands” on your plate as a mom a wife, and in your career/business?  Do feel like you don’t have the help or support you need to care for yourself? You know you need some serious self care, and you’re ready to take radical action to prioritize yourself, and finally “fill your cup”?

If you’re sitting there, nodding your head, with the sound of your littles in the background, I have exactly what you need!

 

The Ultimate Self Care Guide for Busy and working moms!

5 simple steps to finally “find the time”, and unapologetically create & enjoy a guilt-free lifestyle of Radical Self Care… starting today!

Click To learn all about it!

 

 

Married Life · Mommy Life · Self Care · Working Moms

“Selfish Sunday” + How to Reclaim Your Time as a Mom

Over the past 15 months, I’ve intentionally been creating space, and making the time to care for myself. Every single “Selfish Sunday” (i.e My personal Self Care Day to res, renew and revive myself), has been lit, and it’s been a game changer for how I show up as a mom!

I know we often talk about “filling our cups” as moms, but how many of us can say that we intentionally and consistently make the time to do just that.

We all know mom life is filled with SO MUCH for us to do, and when we continually push and push and push, without taking the time to recharge… it’s no wonder over 90% of millennial moms say they feel overwhelmed and burned out (Mother.ly survey)!

And believe me, I get it. I know what it’s like to feel completely overwhelmed. Like you’ve been thrown into the deep, but haven’t learned how to swim yet. YIKES, I know!

It all started about a year ago, after one of the lowest points in my mommy journey.  After 2 hours of unsuccessfully trying to put my exclusively  breastfed  baby to sleep that night, I’d reached my breaking point.

Now, It wasn’t my overtired little one that did it, although sleep has been a serious pain point for me. But  that moment was truly the straw that broke the proverbial camel’s back.

You see, up until that point I’d been doing everything and showing up for everyone, but myself. Yes, I’d have a moment to myself here and there, but truly I’d taken on the “supermom” role doing it all alone, when I had people, including a whole husband, ready to support me.

Well that night, I was fading fast.  I could literally feel the tears and tension rising!

My husband came home right on time.  As soon as he walked into the room, I handed our little lady over and made my way to the bathroom. I’d barely closed the door when my knees dropped to the floor.  It was all so much, and I felt completely and utterly overwhelmed.  All I could do was cry out to God and say,

“If you don’t help me I’m not going to make it”.  I’d had enough of trying to do it all.

It was evident that I was running close to “empty”. I needed some serious  self-care, to fill my cup

I got up from the bathroom floor, tears still flowing, and felt led to call my sister for support. As a fellow momma, I just knew she would get it and would be able to speak into my life. She encouraged me, and told me how important it is for us as moms to take time away, especially during a pandemic. So I took her words to heart, grabbed a blanket and sat in the car outside of my home for 30 minutes to cry, pray and regroup. Yes, in my car and it was just what I needed.

In that moment, it was clear that I needed this time, and then some. And as soon as I walked back in the house, I told my husband I needed to take some time to get myself together. He was 100% on board. So I went to my family calendar, looked to see when my husband was off from work next, and scheduled a lunch date for myself… which just so happened to be the very next day 🙌🏾.

I pumped, and prepared everything hubby would need so that I could peacefully enjoy sometime by myself… and it was everything.  No phone, no agenda… I literally sat at the table, and stared at the green bush in front of my while I enjoyed my meal in silence. I can’t explain it, but it was amazing. I was only gone for a little over 2 hours, but I felt like a brand new mom when I came back home.  Since then, I’ve been on a serious mission to care for myself as a top priority in my life…yes as a whole mom.

✅ I’ve scheduled and enjoyed my “Selfish Sunday  every month for the past 15 months… and your girl is still going strong!

✅ I’ve also been able to “Find my time”… EVERY SINGLE DAY, to enjoy self-care using my  “Simplified Self Care Strategy” I share in my Self Care Guide… see below.  I told you all in a previous post, Showers and beauty maintenance are forms of self care for me.  Those “mini moments” they count and I enjoy them all!

✅ I am no longer obsessed with pleasing other, or trying to do it all alone. There ain’t no prize for running myself into the ground, and I refuse to wear overwhelm & burnout as some sort of VIP access badge for mom life. NO! I am learning how to ask for the support  that I need… and it’s been a game changer!

Listen, I’ve had to do the work, and it has always been worth it!

Selfcare in my life has gone from a once in a blue moon treat, to an EVERY DAY necessity. Yes, I find “mini moments” for myself everyday, in addition to the other ways I need to care for myself… spiritually, mentally, physically, emotionally, and relationally.

I’ve reclaimed my time. Self care has become my lifestyle. 

 I want the same for you.  It’s time to reclaim your time. It’s time to make yourself a top priority. Here’s a great place to start:

1 Get Familiar with your schedule.

Identify when you/your spouse have a day off and pre-plan to enjoy time for yourself that day.  That’s exactly how it all started for me. Start as small as you need to. I know we all want to disappear for a week… or even a month (lol), but for most of us that just is not possible in this season. What is possible, is for you to secure 30 min – 1 hour of time to disappear. Start there, and grow! I promise making this small step will help you to continue on!

2 Schedule Yourself!

Yes, as you identify moments in your schedule where you can slip away… (whether an ice cream break in the car, a lunch date with friends, or a weekend getaway)… take pen to paper and write it down. Use that “mini pocket assistant” (cell phone), and set all alarms, alerts, reminders and timers! It doesn’t matter if it is 30 minutes or a full weekend. Get Your Time, Momma! All those moments matter… so take advantage!

3 Ask for support!

You don’t have to do it all alone. Remember there is no special prize, or reward for driving yourself into the ground, trying to do it all  alone. Ask for the support you need and accept it when it is offered!  For my married mommas, I share a great deal about this in my post here it’s a must read… because Ain’t no way God intended for you to be married, but still feel like you’re single doing it all alone… and you have a whole husband! Sis!!!

 

xx

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s been on my heart, so I have to ask…

Are you overwhelmed?

Are you long overdue and in desperate need of some “me time“? Are you struggling to “find the time” for yourself with all the “demands” on your plate as a mom a wife, and in your career/business?  Do feel like you don’t have the help or support you need to care for yourself? You know you need some serious self care, and you’re ready to take radical action to prioritize yourself, and finally “fill your cup”?

If you’re sitting there, nodding your head, with the sound of your littles in the background, I have exactly what you need!

 

The Ultimate Self Care Guide for Busy and working moms!

5 simple steps to finally “find the time”, and unapologetically create & enjoy a guilt-free lifestyle of Radical Self Care… starting today!

Click To learn all about it!

 

 

Busy & working mommas I want to hear from you… How are you prioritizing yourself?  What do you do to help you show up confidently as a mom!? Share with me on social media…@theresa__Dennis    and be sure to share with a momma who needs this reminder!

encouragement

Jesus, Therapy & Self Care | What Every Mom Needs to Know | Audio

Have you ever felt like God abandoned you?

No, like seriously!

You’re literally in the midst of a rain storm, snow storm, tornado, and an earthquake all at once and you just don’t see Him… Like God where you at???

Listen, the past few months have been… CHALLENGING!

I honestly feel like there was a meeting in the heavenly realm, and God offered me up and said “Have you considered my servant, Theresa”. 😭😭😭  I feel like I’ve been going through extreme testing and stretching… Pruning, and positioning. I feel like it’s been one thing after another and I now truly believe… it is all for His glory😭

Well today, I’m pouring out what’s been on my heart.  I’m sharing what’s been going on behind the scenes, and how I’ve been learning to trust God and how to remain in a place of victory in the midst of it all as a WHOLE MOM!

So we’re testing out a new-ish format, and today’s blog is in audio format! I consume nearly 75% of my content through audio so I decided to test it out on the blog. Hope you enjoy!

Easy to access! Just click below! Listen while you drive, plug in your EarPods and listen while you do your cleaning, shopping, or just sit and allow the words to shower you with God’s grace.  However, and where ever you decide to listen… I know it will bless you!

Audio Chapters

🎙 My Journey: Start
🎙 Jesus: 8:17
🎙 Therapy: 20:57
🎙 Self Care: 26:47

 

xx

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s been on my heart, so I have to ask…

Are you overwhelmed?

Are you long overdue and in desperate need of some “me time“? Are you struggling to “find the time” for yourself with all the “demands” on your plate as a mom a wife, and in your career/business?  Do feel like you don’t have the help or support you need to care for yourself? You know you need some serious self care, and you’re ready to take radical action to prioritize yourself, and finally “fill your cup”?

If you’re sitting there, nodding your head, with the sound of your littles in the background, I have exactly what you need!

 

The Ultimate Self Care Guide for Busy and working moms!

5 simple steps to finally “find the time”, and unapologetically create & enjoy a guilt-free lifestyle of Radical Self Care… starting today!

Click To learn all about it!

 

 

Busy & working mommas I want to hear from you… How are you prioritizing yourself?  What do you do to help you show up confidently as a mom!? Share with me on social media…@theresa__Dennis    and be sure to share with a momma who needs this reminder!