Confident Mom · encouragement · Married Life · Married Moms · Mommy Life · Self Care

3 Unexpected Ways to Self Care | #3 Changed My Life

Since becoming a mom, I realized just how valuable it is for me to prioritize what I need  to fill MY cup, so that I am are able to pour into my family and show up in the areas that matter most to me (my definition of self care). In my latest video “The hard Seasons of Mom Life“, I shared how this year has been one of the most difficult seasons of my life. Like for real, FOR REAL!  And with that  I’ve realized just how deep this practice of self care actual goes to help me in the midst of those most trying seasons of motherhood and life! If you know me you know I love my bi-weekly massages, Selfish Sundays, and alone time in the morning before my family wakes up…. but this year there have been 3 unexpected ways that I’ve been caring for myself that have helped me to remain in a place of victory during the storms of life.  #3 a really did me in!

1. Preparation

Yes, you read that correctly, Preparation has become a form of self care for me. With so many moving parts to my day, week, month… I found that preparation gives me the peace of mind that I’ve been missing, especially when all those parts are moving at the same time.  One excellent example of this is clothes prep. Now I know this is not anything new, but it is for me. I am used to preparing the night before for the next day. But I really kicked things into high gear when I started to prepare for the week. It started with Dream’s outfits for the week. From her school clothes to her pjs, everything was laid out for the week. Then I added in my clothes for the week, from lounge wear to what I would wear to the gym… everything was set so I could “grab and go”!

Hubby was already taken care of. I don’t lay anything out for him, but I do ensure that his work clothes are washed, folded and ready for the week. I’m telling you… this has been a game changer. I’m not perfect by any means, and some mornings are still very much so a circus (I have a very active toddler on my hands), but this has added to my peace of mind and now I am looking at how I can add this level of preparedness to other areas of my life. How about you?

2. Spending intentional time with God, in His Word and in Worship

As a Believer (Jesus Christ Follower), I know this is something I need to do to live a life pleasing to God.  but if I’m being honest, it  wasn’t until I became a mom that I realized just how much my sanity depended on it. Yes… my sanity… mental health… peace of mind. I’m not talking about a quick Bible plan here and there, I mean a deep dive into the truths of His word,  and discovering how it applies to my life as a wife and mom.

Most recently,  Hebrews 6:10 spoke new life into me and encouraged me to the point of tears…

For God, the Faithful One, is not unfair. How can he forget the beautiful work you have done for him? He remembers the love you demonstrate as you continually serve his beloved ones for the glory of his name. (Hebrews 6:10 TPT)

Being a mom is one of the absolute best things in the world… it is also the most difficult job I’ve ever been trusted with. So when I think of all of the mundane tasks throughout my day as a stay at home wife and mom, it can seem as though so much of what I do goes unnoticed.

When I saw this verse and really allowed God to open my heart to receive it… I understood that He sees it all.  As I continually serve his beloved ones (my husband and children), not one thing I do goes unnoticed or without eternal reward. Add in Matthew 11:28 TPT… Are you weary, carrying a heavy burden? Come to me. I will refresh your life, for I am your oasis”... and it’s just the reminder I need to breathe, reset, and refocus during those difficult moments.

Worship and gratitude have also proven to be excellent ways to self care. Crazy how taking my focus and attention off of myself, and instead focusing on the goodness of God, actually helps me to feel better and see more clearly.  From attending church regularly, to my weekly gratitude walks, to filling my home with worship throughout the day… the impact this has on my well being and peace of mind is unmatched!

3. Letting go of things that don’t align with who GOD is calling me to be

Read that again. I’ve always prided myself in letting go of things that don’t align with the woman I wanted to be… but this year, God interrupted my entire life and help me to see that I needed to focus on become the woman HE is calling me to be. And let me tell you, the two are not  the same.

The woman I wanted to be was someone who was perfect, liked, celebrated, sought after, successful, embracing all things easy and beautiful and avoiding all things challenging. Crazy that I seriously lived my life by these standards, only to realize it was leading me down a path of superficial relevance full of unrealistic expectations, misaligned relationships, and people pleasing. And quite frankly there wasn’t much peace, joy or even growth there. Just feeling of inadequacy and piles of disappointment. 

The woman God is calling me to be  is loved, saved by grace, significant, a woman of gratitude living for an audience of One, joy filled and victorious in the midst of life challenges, abounding in the truth of His Word, and enjoying the abundance of this thing called life as I obey and abide in Him… as a wife, mom, and woman.

Really putting God first isn’t popular or trendy. There’s no “people pleasing” or “perfection” on this road. My relationships have changed (yes, I’ve had to mourn the loss of some friendships), old habits have had to die (most of which I thought defined me… my GOD),  and I’ve faced challenges that I wouldn’t want anyone else to endure!   But who I am becoming as a result of my obedience, and the life God has blessed me to experience,  is greater than I can ask think or even imagine! So yea. I’d call that self care!

 

xx

 

 

 

 

Check out my Self Care Guide for  Moms!

Click here to learn all about it and see if this is right for you!

encouragement · Mommy Life · Self Care · Working Moms

5 Simple Habits That Changed My Life | #Momlife

1. Self Care.

Since becoming a mom, I’ve learned the importance of “filling my cup” and have done the work to make Self Care my lifestyleMy wellbeing is no longer an afterthought, and because of this I’m better equipped spiritually, mentally & physically to care for my family.  I no longer allow myself to  suffer in silence/sit in overwhelm.  Not anymore.  I speak up and ask for the support  I need in order to get time for myself. From scheduling time for myself every month (Selfish Sunday), to going to therapy bi-weekly (it’s lit)… to taking advantage of all of the “mini moments” to pour into my life daily… I get my time and my life will never be the same. More to come.

2. Waking up before my family.

I wake up before 5:30am almost every single day,  and I’ve been doing this consistently for the past 3 months.  The highlights of my morning include enjoying my cup of coffee in peace, spending time in God’s word, and seeking His guidance for the day. And depending on my schedule for that day, I  also do my workout.  It’s not always easy, but having something to look forward to, that I truly love and enjoy, makes it 100%  worth the push for me. And my day is  just better when I wake up early. Yes, there are still challenges to overcome, but  “My day always flows best when I’m up before the rest”.  Getting a head start on my day, before everyone else “needs me”… has changed the game for me.

3. Spending time with Jesus, Daily.

I’ve really been working on making the Lord my daily delight (Psalms 37:4 ), abiding in Him (John 15:4-11) , meditating on His Word,  and putting my full trust in Him. I gave my life to Christ years ago, but I feel like my desire to go deeper with Him has grown since becoming a mom.  He is The Source… My EVERYTHING!  Making every effort to intentionally seek God first in all of my ways, early in the morning, has made such a difference in my life. There is something different that happens when we seek  God in the calm of the morning., without distractions.   Even as I write this, I’m in the midst of one of the most uncertain and challenging times of my life, yet I feel stronger and more secure than ever.  There is peace that overtakes me when I lay all of my cares at His feet.  I trust Him with my life, and I am now in the midst of that lived experience. I have no idea how any mom can survive with out Him, and I’m so grateful for His grace, mercy, strength, rest, favor, correction, direction and faithfulness!  My life will never be the same and this is just the beginning!

4. Making time to do, wear & enjoy what I love.

If you know me then you know I love to slay! My forever goal is to be snatched for His glory; allowing the work that God is doing on the inside to shine through in all the ways that I show up… and that includes all things beauty and fashion. I feel like this desire has heightened since becoming a mom, mainly because I can’t stand the narratives that imply “once you become a mom, you become a mess.” NOT for this momma!  Your girl has been doing the work to grow and become who God is calling me to be, and I will reflect just that.  So every week,  multiple times a week, I plan a whole slay.  From my face beat to my feet, I show up to reflect the work God is doing in and through me.  I wear one of my favorite ensembles ( from sweats to dresses… I only own things that I love), throw on my lashes, and live my best stay-at-home-mom life with my little one.  It’s been so good for me. I also have a hair schedule.  Yes… a whole schedule of slays for my hair. I seriously love it!  I can’t quite explain it but when I look and feel amazing, I’m able to face the day a bit more confidently.  Besides beauty maintenance is a form of self care for me. 

5. Working out weekly.

I working out at least 5x a week.  It’s a lifestyle, as well as a form of self care for me. Working out is not only good for me physically, but I often find it helps me when I’m in need of a mental break, and even a reset.  Like most, I’m not always in the mood to workout; however, I am always so fulfilled when I push through and get it done. Always!  Not to mention I have a whole wardrobe that’s depending on me to show up, lol.  So working out whether a HITT workout on the free NTC app, a 3 mile walk outdoors, or my own in-house  workout sequence… it helps keep me fit, stable and ready! My wellness is a priority.

What habits have helped you as a mom? What habits are you working on? Share below.

 

xx

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s been on my heart, so I have to ask…

Are you overwhelmed?

Are you long overdue and in desperate need of some “me time“? Are you struggling to “find the time” for yourself with all the “demands” on your plate as a mom a wife, and in your career/business?  Do feel like you don’t have the help or support you need to care for yourself? You know you need some serious self care, and you’re ready to take radical action to prioritize yourself, and finally “fill your cup”?

If you’re sitting there, nodding your head, with the sound of your littles in the background, I have exactly what you need!

 

The Ultimate Self Care Guide for Busy and working moms!

5 simple steps to finally “find the time”, and unapologetically create & enjoy a guilt-free lifestyle of Radical Self Care… starting today!

Click To learn all about it!

 

 

Busy & working mommas I want to hear from you… How are you prioritizing yourself?  What do you do to help you show up confidently as a mom!? Share with me on social media…@theresa__Dennis    and be sure to share with a momma who needs this reminder!

 

Married Life · Mommy Life

Stop Giving Your Husband Your “Leftovers” | A Lesson for the Married Mommas!

It was a Thursday evening, back in fall 2020.  I’d just ended a Live Training for  Mommy Stylists, while my husband took over all the evening/ night time duties with our 16 month old.

While putting away my tripod, laptop and equipment… my husband came downstairs hyped because he’d successfully put our little lady to sleep with minimal effort.

Y’all… the brother was READY  to hang out.

But I was tired, and all I wanted to do was wind down and sleep.

You see this particular “Thursday”  was “our day”. Before Dream was born, Thursday was our date day, and once Dream popped up on the scene, we decided it would become family day (unless we had someone to watch her, then of course we could date like old times).

But slowly and ever so surely… Thursday turned into my “work day”. 😬

It started off pretty innocently. 

A quick call early in the morning before our day together started.  Then a “quick” client from 7-10. But over time those “quick” work things started to become my norm, and I was working well into the time that was supposed to be just for us. I kinda noticed but hubby really noticed and was feeling some type of way.

I can’t recall exactly what happened on this day, but I do distinctly remember him saying…

“Why do I get your leftovers?”

He continued…

“You’re always so live and bubbly on Instagram and with your mom group, but how come I don’t get that same energy?”

Can you say “OUCH” 😭😭😭😭😭

Yall… I was hurt, angry and a bit overwhelmed by this truth dart. I tried to say “Babe, that’s because that’s just business, and I have an image to maintain”… but God wasn’t finna let me get away with that excuse!

My husband  was 1,000% right…. and I knew it!

You see sometimes you don’t need to step away and pray for God to  show you what you need to do… sometimes He allows you to see it right then and there and you have to decide what you’re gonna do.

So I turned to him and said “I’m so sorry”. 

I’d been giving my all to so many things that season… my little lady (obvi), my clients, my image… all of it… but my husband… the love of my life… my boo bear… was getting my leftovers! And he felt it.

Although I don’t like that I allowed that to happen… I’m so grateful that:

1.  He felt comfortable telling me how he felt, and was not afraid to question me and my motives (we need that sometimes)

2.  That I was able to receive it and that God was able to work on my heart in the moment

Since then… I’ve made several changes…

1.  I’ve intentionally put my marriage in it’s proper place. My marriage is strong, and it’s even stronger now with the challenges we overcome. I realized that my marriage is to be honored above all else, yes… above my career, serving in church…etc.  If my house isn’ t in order (i.e. my marriage), then what am I really doing. Furthermore, if my hubby tried to give me his leftovers…. LAWD! No Bueno!

2.  I honor the day we set aside for ourselves. I no longer work in any capacity on “our day”. If God called me to do it, then I trust that He will help me to align my life in such a way where I am able to show up in purpose, and honor my commitment to my husband and our spending time together. I’ve had to get really intentional about how I structure my week… oh and my “no” game is stronger than ever!

3.  I schedule “our day” on the calendar. To show how much of a priority our time is together, I put pen to paper and schedule our time together every single week. And now that has transformed into what we call “D-Day” where we sit, discuss what’s working and how we can improve, make decisions for our lives and our family together… and we DATE!!!!

Now please don’t miss the message. There will be times when you need “a moment”. There are times when I truly don’t have “it” to give, and my hubby knows and respects that. He’s also been even more intentional about finding ways to support me when I have “one of those days”. However, if you’re constantly giving all of yourself to everyone else… your family, friends, clients… and your husband is lucky to get an ounce of time/love/affection… then I encourage you to check yourself. 

That should not be the norm, momma.

Check your priorities. Are things in their proper place? Ask God to show you your blind spots. Ask God not only to open your eyes to see, but to open your heart to receive direction and correction.  As wives we have to put pride aside… along with all the narratives that would tell us we’re always right and our husbands should bend to our will…  and courageously do the work to make things right. Let’s stop giving our husbands our leftovers.

Your husband and your marriage are worthy of your first fruits!

Living & Learning!

xx,

Mommy Life

Let’s Talk | Mom life & getting “unstuck”

I’m super excited about this month’s cover stories!!

One of the main things I’m determined to do is to create a life that I love; a life that serves me!  A life that I can be proud of, where I am not only showing up for myself… but one where I am  becoming and fully embracing the woman I know God is calling me to be… yes, as a whole mom.

I know you feel the same. I know that you know you’re more than a mommy. I know you desire to rewrite the narrative,  and you want to live your absolute best life…. as a wife, a mom, a business owner… as a woman!

And as eager as you are to redefine mom life on your terms, and FINALLY create a life that excites you…

YOU. FEEL. STUCK.

You can’t seem to figure out how to finally move forward and embrace the beauty of who you know you want to become. You’re trying your best to show up, but you can’t seem to get past the disappointment of things not going as you expected.  You’ve even gotten to the point of trying to  force things to work out;  trying to keep up appearances because you want to prove that you can do it all… instead of operating in the flow and freedom that God has for you….

Well… It’s time to get unstuck and walk in the freedom that God has for you! I’m so grateful to be used by Him!

This month is all about getting “unstuck” and we’re starting with the basics! Because let me tell you this….You will never be able to create & live a life that excites you until you do this one thing!

So if you’re ready to walk in freedom, Check out my first July cover story (video) below, and as always be sure to comment, and share with a momma who needs this!

 

xx

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s been on my heart, so I have to ask…

Are you overwhelmed?

Are you long overdue and in desperate need of some “me time“? Are you struggling to “find the time” for yourself with all the “demands” on your plate as a mom a wife, and in your career/business?  Do feel like you don’t have the help or support you need to care for yourself? You know you need some serious self care, and you’re ready to take radical action to prioritize yourself, and finally “fill your cup”?

If you’re sitting there, nodding your head, with the sound of your littles in the background, I have exactly what you need!

 

The Ultimate Self Care Guide for Busy and working moms!

5 simple steps to finally “find the time”, and unapologetically create & enjoy a guilt-free lifestyle of Radical Self Care… starting today!

Click To learn all about it!

 

 

Busy & working mommas I want to hear from you… How are you prioritizing yourself?  What do you do to help you show up confidently as a mom!? Share with me on social media…@theresa__Dennis    and be sure to share with a momma who needs this reminder!

Mommy Life

This is Happening and You’re Invited | Mommy Slay Hour

Calling all my bomb Mommas!!

Okay, I am hyped, and I ain’t coming down no time soon!

Your girl is hosting a whole virtual event just for us mommas to show up and SLAY… And you are invited! Yes, you momma!

Grab your fave lippie, throw on some lashes, grab that yummy number you’ve been dying to wear and join us for what is sure to be one of the “littiest” (aaayeeee) virtual mommy socials to date! 

Click the invite above, or click here to register for free!  Can’t wait to connect!

xx,